Spoodles Rambles

How To Fold A Flat Diaper (according to Kenneth)

2011-03-02T21:09:00.000-08:00

I'm not exactly sure how you're supposed to fold a flat diaper... we use prefolds... but I don't think this is it...

Close enough...

We Make Plans... and God Laughs...

2011-01-27T15:00:00.000-08:00

Okay so I had this whole home birth thing planned out... you kind of have to, I suppose, but I was really trying not to have "expectations" 'cause I've learned from experience that when you have expectations things rarely turn out the way you expected. However, like planning, I suppose expectations are kind of unavoidable. I had to expect something, right? After much discussing with several people I thought I had an idea about what contractions felt like and I was pretty much braced for the worst pain imaginable. I also somehow got it into my head that after undergoing the worst pain imaginable for twelve or so hours that when it came time to push I would be so relieved that the end was near that pushing would be almost easy. Ha. And I know I remember hearing that the baby actually coming out would be nothing compared to the contractions. Ha. Ha.

Anyway, all that to say that, despite my best efforts, I had a few expectations about what this birth would be like. And I was so so utterly completely insanely wrong. :-)

I woke up at 1:30 Wednesday morning with some moderately painful cramping. I've been cramping regularly for quite some time now so it wasn't all that unusual, it's just that it wasn't usually that ouchy. I went to the bathroom, drank some water and tried to go back to sleep.

No luck. I went to the bathroom again and there was blood in the toilet and on the paper and all that. I was kind of alarmed. I'd had blood tinged mucus about a week prior but since I was 3 cm. dilated I figured it was normal. This was a lot more blood than that so I woke Kenneth up and asked him what I should do. He suggested getting online to see how much blood is normal. After assuring us that blood was normal I wondered if I might be in labor. The cramping hadn't subsided like it normally does and though I didn't have any tightening sensations, there did seem to be somewhat of a pattern to it. The cramping would get stronger every five minutes or so though with the constant cramping it was hard to know how to "time it".

Kenneth urged me to call our midwife, though I hated the thought of waking her up. Seriously, I'd been having anxiety dreams about waking her up in the middle of the night for a false alarm.

Anyway, I called Alice around 3:30 and she said it sounded like I might be in labor and she'd be over in a bit to check on me.

Of course this happened on a night that I hadn't cleaned so we frantically cleaned the house and then sat back to relax. Kenneth insisted on taking some final "belly pictures". I just love having my picture taken...

Especially when I look like a whale...

Alice arrived about an hour later and checked me out and said it looked like I was in labor. *phew* So thankful I didn't wake her up and make her venture out in the snowy blackness for nothing!

We started getting out the birth supplies...

Don't worry... we didn't use those vice-grips on the baby...

Kenneth began setting up the pool. He wanted to set it up right after we called Alice but I wouldn't let him 'cause I didn't really think I was in labor.

Then we started filling up the pool. First we hooked the hose up to the water heater, Kenneth had already done that before to make sure it would work. Well when we turned it on it started spewing gritty dirty water into the pool. Not real sanitary.

Kenneth and Alice removed the liner and took it into the bathroom to wash it out in the tub. I disconnected our water filter so we could hook the hose up to the kitchen sink. Didn't work. I reconnected the water filter and Kenneth pulled the washer and dryer out a bit and hooked the hose up back there. *Success!*

The pool began filling up with fabulously hot water. We checked the temp often to make sure it stayed that way.

It didn't.

At some point we ran out of hot water and began pumping really cold water into the pool. We caught it, but not before it had turned the fabulously hot water into not so fabulously tepid water.

DANGIT!

At this point those contractions were definitely headed into more painful territory and I had some lovely back labor going on. Still, not anything near as bad as I expected. I'd had much much worse menstrual cramps.

Also, I still wasn't feeling that tightening sensation, though Alice assured me my uterus was definitely contracting and I was definitely dilating. She agreed though, that I was not experiencing "normal" contractions as they didn't actually have a start and stop point. I was constantly cramping with noticeably more crampage for about two minutes every three minutes or so.

So... to fix our tepid water situation... we started boiling water. Thing is... we only have one pot. One stockpot, one cast iron skillet, one cast iron flat skillet and a butt-load of cake pans... And two crock pots. And now I want to sing the Twelve Days of Christmas song for some really odd reason.

So we filled up our lone stockpot and the tea kettle and got them going. Oh and we utilized the coffee maker as well.

Creative, maybe, but not so effective.

Kenneth needed to take our girls (a golden retriever and golden retriever/black lab mix) to my parents' house anyway so he said he'd grab their stockpots while he was there.

There we go... much better.

After several rounds of boiling water we got the pool to a suitable temperature and I thankfully got in.

The relief was instantaneous. I was seriously shocked. I knew the water would make the contractions less painful but I had no idea it would be so effective and sudden. It was insanely awesome.

At this point things got much more relaxed. We weren't constantly monitoring pans and adding and subtracting water. Kenneth turned on some music pulled a chair up to the pool and we talked. It was seriously amazing. If I'd been in the hospital I'd so have been hyperventilating at this point. Just walking in the Doctor's office makes my blood pressure go up. (not kidding, it's uncanny) I am just blown away with how wonderful that part of the experience was. I was definitely in pain, no getting around that, but it was manageable. Even if we hadn't been able to get the pool working it would have been a relaxing environment... I just would have been more uncomfortable.

Ooo... side note. I'm definitely eating next time around. Both Alice and Kenneth were urging me to eat early on but I wasn't hungry so I just ate a grapefruit. *stupid stupid stupid* By the time I got hungry I was about twenty minutes away from the "pushing stage" and the contractions would have made me throw it up anyway.

Okay... so at about noon I was fully dilated and ready to push. No problem... this is the easy part, right?

So, Alice told me next time I feel the contraction coming on take two deep breaths, hold the third and push like I'm doing the biggest poo in the world. (These were definitely not her exact words, she says things like "bowel movement"... much more refined...)

Okay... I do this.... and it hurts like crazy and I don't feel like I've made any progress. We continue this routine for a while. Poor Kenneth. I'm squatting in the pool (getting gravity to help me out) and he's holding me up so I can put all my pushing power into the correct muscles and not have to expend extra energy holding my own (considerable) weight. I weigh like 210 lbs. by now... yeah... beached whale, remember?

Anyway. We keep this up for I don't know how long and I feel like I'm getting absolutely nowhere despite Alice's reassurances to the contrary. The only thing I feel like I'm pushing out are my intestines... they feel like they're going out my bum.

Alice suggests trying a few contractions outside of the pool so I get out. (Mega ouch, those contractions were much nicer in the water... still... they were infinitely preferable over the whole pushing bit)

We go in the bedroom so I have the option of the bed or floor. We had gone ahead and bought the supplies for a "normal" birth... plastic sheeting to protect the mattress and floor and such... but both Alice and Kenneth were too busy helping me and didn't have time to get the plastic on the bed. We just put plastic on the floor at the end of the bed and I leaned back against Kenneth and did the whole squatting thing. I tried several different positions but it seemed to work the best.

Finally I start getting the actual "urge to push" thing. Up 'til now my body is not helping me out one bit, silly thing. Alice asks me if I where I want to deliver this thing and I decided on the bed. I'm tired and I want to lay down. We make a mad scramble for the bed, and Alice says she'll be coming out with this next contraction. (thank goodness) Kenneth says she just kinda blooped out but to me it was agonizingly slow not so bloopy... more like rrrrrip. I'm going ow ow ow.

Ninja is half-way out and she starts kicking. OW. I was like screw this next contraction, this kid is coming out NOW so I push her out, ask Kenneth what she is, (human female) and the whole aftermath cleanup begins. Alice gets her cleaned up while we wait for the cord to finish transferring all its goodies then she cuts it and all that good stuff and hands her off to Kenneth so she can take care of me.

I'm having blood sugar issues 'cause I forgot to eat, remember? So they start giving me honey and juice cubes and such. We get me feeling slightly better but Jadyn did a number on me and despite our months of preparations I needed to be stitched up. I'm all nervous about this needle thing... but we get me turned around, which makes me all nauseated again and Alice starts stitching. (ow ow ow ow ow) I tell them I'm really feeling like I'm going to throw up. (after four months of vomiting every hour or so I know the feeling well) Kenneth tells me not to. ha. So I promptly start throwing up. And apologizing. Ugh. I feel like such a wimp.

So now we have a bigger mess to clean up. We finally get me sewn up and cleaned up as much as possible and the fun stuff happens.

Cuddling and eating and looking adorable... (Jadyn, not me... I was not looking adorable in the slightest.)

And Kenneth got to go bury the placenta. (No, we didn't eat it... and I'm kicking myself for not taking pictures of it...)

So that's pretty much the way it went. I'm astonished at how slow I'm recovering. I thought for sure I'd be back to milking goats and such after a couple days. (Alice thought that was funny) And I definitely felt like a huge wimp. I thought I'd be able to handle the pain thing better. I wasn't screaming or cursing or anything, but I was wondering if I'd be able to do this again. (after seeing Jadyn, the answer is definitely yes I can ;-) Hopefully it's not going to take three years to make the next one. Until then we are enjoying every second with our gorgeous girl.

Oh... and if anyone would like to take my hemorrhoids off my hands... er... bum... I'd really appreciate it.

Missing Cow

2010-03-10T19:42:00.000-08:00

Ellen ran away from home... wandered around for a week and came back pregnant...

She was a bad bad cow.

Bleach makes my head hurt... but it is sooo much better than sewer water...

2010-02-17T16:56:00.000-08:00

Wow... I think it's been like six months since I've posted or read any blog of any kind... weird. *singing* Is there anybody out there? Does anybody care? Are the people really there?... *bows*

For some reason I always hear that song by Burlap to Cashmere in my head every time I post something online... yeah... like every time... it's uncanny... I wonder what that says about me and my insecurities?

Do I really want to know what that says about me and my insecurities?

That reminds me of something my MIL told me today... "I had a dream last night that Skittles pooped for me... I was so excited and telling her what a good girl she was and was so proud of her... and then I woke up... that was very disappointing..."

Is that not one of the funniest things ever? Are you wondering why my MIL dreams of my dog pooping? hehe I think I'll just let you wonder... unless you really want to know... and then you can comment and ask and I'll tell you the next time I post... like in six months or so...

Oh and you know you use a laptop too much when you brush your finger over the spacebar instead of using the mouse... hehe

Okay. So there was a point to this... I just need to remember what it was. Um. I'm going to make some chamomile tea while I'm thinking because my throat hurts. I have a cold... isn't that fabulous?

I remembered! Amazing. So I was going to tell you another Tale of Woe but then I thought the Disciple video I watched on YouTube earlier today and I was smacked in the face with my own patheticness. Don't you hate that? I so wanted to feel sorry for myself... but who can feel sorry for themselves after watching this - Wait by Disciple

I'm talking about the message... not the song... although the song is A-MA-ZING... doesn't that look so much more emphatic than amazing? I thought so.

Anyway... what smacked me in the face... what he said from about 6:40 on... and pretty much all of 2 Cor. 4 but especially vs 16-18

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Our light and momentary troubles. Momentary. And they're light. Do you know what he was calling "light" and "momentary"?

2 Cor. 11:24-26
Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers.

Yeah... and I was all feeling sorry for myself over a stupid clogged drain...

Ugh... talk about pathetic!

So... instead of regaling you with tales of poor Spoodles... I'm going to be thankful for some stuff. And then I'm going to make lasagna... and snuggle with my hubby and watch the Olympics...

I'm thankful for~

~ Indoor Plumbing... I don't have to walk outside in the snow to go to the um... yeah...
~ Washing Machines... I don't have to carry my clothes to the river to wash them...
~ Carpet Cleaners... I don't have to get down on my hands and knees to scrub sewer water out of the carpet...
~ My husband... who is too amazing for words... and he's hungry so I'm gonna go feed him...

Would you remind me of this post the next time I start throwing myself a pity party?

Thanks

*singing* Life is good. Eternal life is better. Life is good. Eternal life is better. ~ Stellar Kart

Mood Rings

2009-11-05T04:10:00.000-08:00

This song... is fabulous... We definitely need to have a mandatory mood ring rule around here... too much Estrogen... or Progesterone... or whatever it is...

Too much fun is painful... Shawnee 2009

2009-10-26T04:31:00.000-07:00

Very very painful... but we shall get to that later... I just like to throw titles like that out there... it makes me feel dangerous.

We (Kenneth, Micah, Angie, Bre and Brishaun) went camping in Shawnee National forest earlier this month. Like the tenth and eleventh... I think... anyway... daytime temps were in the 60s and night time... was freezing... seriously... like 30s and I am not exaggerating... I promise... you believe me, right? *innocent never exaggerates smile*

Anyway. We went camping. We packed up our little cars (yes little cars... we should have taken a picture... it was amusing. Thankfully it is only a little over an hour's drive away or I think my body would have suffered permanent damage from being crammed in like that...) and we drove around Evansville awhile getting breakfast... then we headed to Shawnee.

We arrived about ten in the morning on Sunday at Pounds Hollow and proceeded to Pine Ridge Campground and picked out a cute little spot. Kenneth and I drove back to the beginnning place to secure it and pay for it and then we drove back. We unpacked our little cars and began trying to set up the tent... without directions... hehe

Author's Note: Micah will be joining us later. She had a last minute Nutcracker rehearsal so Dad drove her up later Sunday evening.

We're good...

Very good...

Notice how I say "We" even though I'm really just standing back and watching them work and taking pictures...

Of their butts... am I allowed to say butts?

It's hard not to take pictures of their butts... but see only one in this pic... and it's a nice one too... sorry... I couldn't help it... I love you Kenneth!

Anyway...

Isn't it pretty?

At this point Bre goes "Hey, a little help here..." So I dutifully and regretfully lay aside my photography device and help with the construction of our temporary abode. I'm just noble like that.

Then I decide that temporary abode construction really isn't my thing... and I go back to taking pictures.

Pretty good for no instructions, eh? *proud smiley*

Our perfect little campsite had one problem... the thing wasn't level... seriously. The only level place was where the firepit was. So we set up the tent on the next levelest place... we thought "Oh it'll be okay... it'll be kinda like sleeping in those beds that have the head of the bed raised... no big deal. It'll actually be a good thing 'cause we're all sick and we'll be able to breathe better that way..." Feel free to laugh at us naive little campers. I'm laughing. Really. I am.

I love my mountain man...

I love my Bre-Bre... look at her beautiful hair... it's blue and purple and pink... well and black of course... so so pretty...

I love my afro boy... he looks so serious and professional...

I also love my Angie... but it seems I mostly took pictures of her butt... so yeah... she'd probably kill me if I posted a lot of butt pictures... hehe... sorry, Angie!

Then we arranged all our sleepy stuff in the tent... we laid down foamy mattress pads and big thick camping pads... we thought we were oh so clever and that we'd be sleeping comfortably and soundly atop our fluffy things... Laugh with me, people, laugh with me... *hysterical laughter*

Then I took a picture of our fire-ring... it was feeling neglected...

After comforting the neglected fire-ring we hiked down to Pounds Hollow Lake. It was very fun... and steep. But fun. I love hiking.

We met a friend at the bottom...

He had a funny hairdo... all spiky and emo... aint e cute?!

Our little friend shocked Bre... see, her hair's a little... yeah... love you Bre! Don't hit me... please!

Kenneth confiscated my camera... he takes better pictures anyway... see the pretty rock pile?

And the um... butts... again... okay, so Kenneth really isn't any better than me...

Poo... never mind... Kenneth is WAY better than me... *sigh*

Brishaun couldn't wait to go fishin'...

I don't know what he has in his mouth... I'm not sure I want to know...

I wanted to camp right here... but it's against the rules... stupid rules...

Angie and I were a bit tired... and the sun was perfect... and the light breeze coming off the water... sigh with me... *ahhhh* God is amazing. I love God... and Angie. Angie has been, with a lot of help from Kenneth, my sanity. Or the helper of my sanity. Angie has encouraged, strengthened, chastised, and walked with me on the road toward righteousness. It's been an interesting journey. Angie has become a crazy best friend to me. God is definitely good. It's funny the way he brings people into my life at the perfect time. Angie has been exactly what I needed when I needed it. She is precious.

Bre is one of the most beautiful people ever. She's stunning! Isn't she? And she is soooo artistic! She's one of those people with this natural affinity for all things art. Even though she's never taken a class, she's amazing at decorating cakes. She does really neat things with spray paint. Her sketches are too cool. She puts together awesome outfits. She LOVES music. Seriously, the woman and her ipod are inseperable. And the swing. She swings a lot. I would say she's a swinger but I've been told that has negative connotations. Please do not enlighten me... I enjoy my naive ignorance... Bre is amazing.

Brishaun, fishing of course. This kid can fish. And hunt. And make weapons. And use those weapons and his crazy ninja skills. And he can dance. And teach himself to play pretty much any instrument. And he has awesome hair. And he's taller than my husband. He's a pretty awesome guy.

Isn't he cute? All camo-ish and such? I could seriously go on and on about how amazing and fantastic and awesome and fabulous my husband is... but I've already done that in my meet Kenneth post so... yeah, suffice it to say I really really really love my husband. In the past few weeks I've been pondering God's timing in general and the timing of our relationship in specific and I've come to realize that God had everything planned down to the last detail and I am so overwhelmed at his love and provision. Wow.

Kenneth's work boots... er... boot. This boot has stuck with Kenneth through thick and thin. Braving the weather bravely, protecting Kenneth's foot from poo, mud, water, snow, ice, tire dressing, and horse saliva... this boot is fantabulous.

Now that I've extolled the virtues of my companions... sorry about that... hehe... I must show you this next picture... it's life changing...

Bre's legs... on a stump... with torn jeans... can you feel your life changing? I thought so.

Bre, Angie and I reading about the history of Pound's Hollow...

After using the restroom we hiked back up that crazy hill... oh my word... the hill was crazy... I think we all nearly died... and we grabbed water... piled into the car... stopped again at a stinky restroom... and drove to...

Rim Rock. I love this place. Garden of the gods gets all the glory, but really Rim Rock is awesome. Aren't these rocks amazing? Isn't the way my arm just disappears for a second and reappears amazing? I'm like Bao Dur! Only without the glowing blue in between my arm segments... and the remote... and cranial horns...

We scaled rocks...

Squeezed through a tunnel thing and got wet... Would someone care to tell me why I post pictures of myself looking like I'd wet myself... explosively... online?!

Thanks... that's what I thought too...

We laughed...

We spelunked...

We contemplated our existence...

We hiked...

We rested...

Doesn't Bre look like a fairy?

We marveled at Creation...

We threw large sticks...

Rather, Brishaun threw large sticks...

And we came across this substance... we decided it was deer poop... in a tree... yeah... I don't know either...

After our excursions in Rim Rock we drove back to our campsite. Since we didn't have cell phone reception we had to stop just outside the Pounds Hollow entrance to make phone calls. We called and explained to Dad how to get to our site and then started getting ready to prepare dinner.

First we had to build a fire... Our fearless leader men got started immediately... which turned out to be a very good thing because it took them about two hours. In their defense everything was wet... that made life much more difficult...

Good thing we had a survival guide...

Bre got bored and started playing with the matches...

And I got bored and took pictures of the trees again...

Kenneth's *still* trying to get that fire going... ya gotta love his tenacity... I know I do... hehe

Success!

(Bre and I were actually the first ones to get something to light... we're just amazing like that... but then it went out and Kenneth and Brishaun took back over)

Our fire... See, we've got that log on top to dry it out... did you know that wet logs foam when they're burning?! It was crazy cool looking!

So after we finally got our fire going good... I kid you not it took two hours... Micah arrived and we started roasting our hot dogs... and I removed the wet log from the grill so we could heat water for hot chocolate...

We roasted hot dogs and ate s'mores and sang worship songs late into the night... and made several freezing trips to the bathroom... seriously... it was just above freezing that night... not cool.

We read Second Timothy and then called it a night. Micah, Kenneth and I shared a sleeping bag. Micah had her own but she was a little scared and there was plenty of room in our double bag for her. It took another hour or so of giggling in our tent before we managed to settle down enough to sleep. Or try to sleep. I know I didn't do much sleeping. Sleeping on the ground after a grueling day of strenuous exercise is not smart. Few times in my life have I hurt so bad.

For one thing. The pads offered very little comfort from the cold hard ground... yeah... call me a sissy... it HURT. I'm way too old for that sort of thing. Then... because we were sleeping on a hill... our sleeping bags wanted to take off on us leaving us shivering in the cold. Were also on a slope to the side ... Kenneth and Micah ended up on top of me. Apparently pulling the sleeping bag back up makes it unzip... my sleeping fellows squished me out the side... I landed on the cold hard ground. It's a cruel cruel world.

We finally got settled, around two in the morning I'm guessing. Kenneth slept in Micah's sleeping bag which was actually Kenneth's sleeping bag because Kenneth and I had planned to sleep in Mom and Dad's double sleeping bag... make sense?

I finally gave up on sleeping the second light began appearing and left the warm comfort of my sleeping bag to get a start on the fire. Kenneth, Brishaun, and Angie all got up then too. Apparently Micah and Bre were the only ones not in too much pain to sleep.

Getting the fire started took another two hours and looked pretty much the same as it did before so I'll spare you the photo montage.

We had hot dogs and Donut Bank donuts (purchased the day before, unfortunately Shawnee doesn't have a Donut Bank) for breakfast. And Teecino. I later slapped myself really hard for forgoing traditional caffeine filled coffee...

Poor Bre... the smoke seemed to follow her no matter where she sat...

Micah... playing with fire. Notice she is wearing only a t-shirt while the rest of us are bundled up like Eskimos... yeah...

Look at the height difference... I can't believe they're twins...

Gwen's Campfire Friends...

Micah's camera shy...

hehe

I'm just kidding... the kid is a total ham... she's just warding off the tear inducing smoke... we'd thought we were so smart bringing dried onion tops to use as kindling... haha... it just made the smoke that much meaner...

The best thing about our campsite was the giant grapevines hanging over a ravine. Okay, so it was a big ditch... ravine sounds cooler...

Brishaun looking oh so cool and composed. Cool as a cucumber...

Bre... demonstrating the cling with your thighs approach...

I have no idea what is going on... I just like what Brishaun's hair is doing...

Micah demonstrating the difficult one handed swing...

And Kenneth... pictures like these make me want to find that boy and kiss the heck out of him. Sorry! I can't help it! Stop giving me that evil look, Bre!

I have no idea...

Oh, before I forget... the mens found two hibernating snakes... do snakes hibernate? I'm gonna say they do... 'cause these guys were sleepy... pretty cool.

Brishaun demonstrating the pull back as far as you can, jump as high as you can, and hold on for dear life approach to vine swinging...

After the vine swinging exhibition, we cleaned up breakfast and drove back to Rim Rock to do the other trail.

Beautiful... I couldn't get over all the ferns!

And the massive rocks that made Angie Brishaun and whoever that is look like play people...

Oh, that was Bre I suppose. She was the one wearing the blindingly yellow shirt... and Brishaun's funny face is priceless...

One of several amazing waterfalls...

Mushrooms... too cute!

Micah and Brishaun... I love pictures of them together... they make me feel all warm and fuzzy... her protector... and tormentor... funny how the two go hand in hand... hehe...

We then went back, packed camp, and stopped at Garden of the gods to play before we left.

There are several places that form perfect little seats. I love coming here just before nightfall to watch the sunset. Unfortunately we were all (except Micah, of course) too tired to stick around until then.

I'm not sure why it looks so dark, it was a lovely day, but I love this picture... it's moody... like me...

Bre... too cute for words in her purple sweatshirt that matches her hair...

Brishaun and I... Hi Kenneth...

Micah... being Micah... my stars that girl is lovely... even when she's giving you that what the heck are you doing look...

So I thought... Oh what a lovely picture... and then I noticed the upper right corner... my butt with a strategically placed leaf... lovely... that last lovely was sarcastic... just so there is no confusion...

It's like a playground for grownups... and nearly grownups... and almost nearly grownups...

Nuhnuh nuhnuh nuh nuh nuhnuh Bat Girl! Woo I'm scary looking...

There are an inordinate amount of pictures of me... let this be a lesson to you all... do not give your husband control of the camera... unless you are photogenic... at least this one has Micah in it. I think we were waiting for Bre to make it through the tunnel.

God so made all this for us to play on. I hope heaven has big rocks.

Brishaun turned out to be quite the climber. Travis would have been proud.

The only thing that made the day less than perfect... other than being completely sore and Bre having a hurt knee... were all the other people in the park... the stupid people... the people trying to kill themselves... like this girl... do you see her? No? Let's zoom in...

She wants to die.

Now we climb on rocks... and we do difficult things... and if we fell it would hurt... but we're not stupid. We don't do things we aren't sure we can do. We don't try to get on the camel head knowing a person dies attempting that pretty much every year... We don't let our small reckless children stand on the edge...

Sorry about the rant.

It just bugs me, you know? I don't want to watch someone die!

Like this crazy kid! What was he thinking? Now the vultures are going to eat him and his mom is going to cry.

I'm just kidding... Brishaun's not dead... he's just pretending...

You hope...

You Know You're Obsessed with Clones when...

2009-10-05T18:07:00.000-07:00

Okay... so I found this and thought it was fabulous... and though I'm not nearly this "Mando" ... I love it! And yes... I sing (mostly hum) 'Vode An' in public... *chagrined smiley*

You know you're obsessed with clones when...

You love the Dark Nest novels, but the first thing you turned to when you got The Swarm War was the Triple Zero excerpt.

You've memorized the numbers and nicknames for more than 10 clones.

You've ever recorded yourself singing anything in Mando'a, or you've caught yourself singing Vode An in a public place.

You're watching AotC, and you get a major urge to vibroblade any Geonosian you see onscreen, while muttering curses about "dirty worthless bugs".

You go to type "command" and find yourself trying to put an 'o' at the end of the word.

Your copies of Hard Contact, Triple Zero, True Colors, and Order 66 are permanently within easy reach of your computer - for reference purposes.

You've made up your own squad of Republic Commandos, complete with numbers, nicknames, personalities, and armor coloring.

You see it as your personal duty to exterminate the general population's belief that the clones aren't human, aren't sentient, have no free choice, or that the lives of individuals are meaningless because "more can be made".

You listen to the Republic Commando game soundtrack as much as you listen to your favorite bands.

You find yourself quoting the commandos in everyday conversation and/or life.

You've ever gone through one of the movie scenes with clones in it frame-by-frame.

You routinely talk to your squad out loud while playing Republic Commando. For example: "Sev, go snipe", "Stop lagging behind, Scorch", "I don't care if it's against procedure, Fixer, get your butt over here and revive me... thanks", "Die, you metal-head piece of trash!" (oh wait, that's Sev... :D), etc. Y

You misread common English words as similar Mando'a words. For example: vod'ika instead of 'vodka'.

(Taken from Brothers All: Republic Commando Fansite)

The Tale of the Bald Frog

2009-10-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

Okay so I was updating my profile and there's this random question thing at the end... I asked for a new question and this is what I got...

Random Question:

The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig:

So I did... but it said my story was too long... I cried from the pain of the rejection... then I recovered and thought since I worked such long hard hours on it I couldn't let it go to waste... hehe... so here it is, from the award winning author that brought you Brian Lost His Lunch Money, I give you the Tale of the Bald Frog. No need for a standing ovation... sit back down... you're too kind, really...

The Tale of the Bald Frog
by Gwendolyn McTaggart

Long ago in the land of the lily pads there lived a bald frog.

You see, children, back then all frogs had hair, regardless of gender or age. This poor frog, however, had none. He was a very very sad frog.
His name was Gerald.

Poor Gerald was teased mercilessly by the other frogs until he was so distraught he left the lily pad kingdom and journeyed far into the lands of the Oaks and Maples and Firs.

There among those great trees he found a poor little fly with no wings. Though Gerald was very hungry from his journeying he felt a strange sympathy for the flightless fly. For a fly without wings was much like a frog without hair. Gerald was sure this poor fly had endured much hardship in it's sorry little life and he could not bring himself to eat the fly.

"Poor fly. I'm so sorry for your plight. You must have a terrible time getting around, is there anywhere I can take you?"

Just then there was a great beam of silvery light and the fly disappeared. In its place was a beautiful faerie.

"Little hairless one," Her voice was soft, musical like a flute. "Because your heart is kind and your motives pure as the ice on the alps I shall grant you your heart's desire."

The faerie was a magical being and knew instinctively what the frog wanted most. The lovely faerie fashioned him a fabulous wig of darkest ebony and set it atop his head.

The frog's eyes widened in astonishment and he opened his mouth to thank the kind faerie but the moment so overwhelmed him that he promptly fainted.

The End.

Tales of Woe: A Babysitting Experience

2009-09-28T18:51:00.001-07:00

I'm just hanging out... waiting for the police to show up and arrest me for child neglect...

Yeah... well... not really... but close... really close... police were involved... and children... but I don't think I'm gonna get arrested... tonight anyway...

Since I have ya'll on the edge of your seats here... let me start at the beginning...

My dishwasher broke on my birthday... yeah... so instead of typing the whole experience out again let me just direct you to the tale that started it all...

Ya back?

Good. So it's pretty much like that only there was no ant and it's been days and it's still not fixed. I can guarantee if Dad had to wash those dishes that dishwasher would be fixed by now... but nope... and since Kenneth or I would probably do more harm than good... I think I'm just going to have to wait patiently... grr... I'm not a very patient person... I prayed for more patience this morning...

I'm regretting that.

Anyway.

My dishwasher was broken. I was sad. I washed dishes for hours and hours... like fifteen hours, I'm sure of it. And then I had to go babysit some Jewish kids at the synagogue because it was Rosh Hashanah and their babysitter got the flu. Anyway. I was running a bit later than I would have liked but still would have made it there with time to spare... except some stupid stalker cop pulled me over because the stupid sticker on my stupid license plate was one stupid month expired. I was annoyed but managed to be totally polite and contrite... until they made me sit there over twenty minutes and politely threatened to tow my car. Go ahead! Tow my freakin' car, at least then I'll be spared the wrath of the angry synagogue people! I thought desperately at the man while trying to snatch my stupid stuff back and leave.

We (Myself and a friend who shall remain unnamed) walked in exactly twenty minutes late. Stupid cop. I'm still mad and that was Monday. Ugh. Anyway. We walk in and of course no one is around, they're all in the sanctuary place. So we start looking for a room full of kids.

There were no kids. Anywhere. So I run into the janitor guy (super nice guy, I think he's my favorite person there) and explain what's going on and he says that the kids are supposed to be in the youth room and that they'll probably trickle in later.

I heave a great sigh of relief and walk back to the youth room.

Suddenly this horrible wailing starts in the sanctuary place. It gets louder and louder until finally a very Irate Mom comes out towing a little person and carrying a second. "I thought there were supposed to be babysitters here!?" She irately exclaims.

Yeah. Um. That'd be me. I'm sorry. I stammer an apology... I'm not sure what it was..

Irate Mom hands me Screaming Child and goes back in after telling me their names and saying Screaming Child will stop screaming eventually.

Great.

Okay. Screaming Child screams for a good fifteen minutes until she wears herself out and falls asleep.

Awesome.

Her Big Brother is playing contentedly with Unnamed Helper and another girl about Micah's age.

Fabulous.

Irate Mom comes back in the room.

I start to hyperventilate.

Turns out she's really really nice, she was just incredibly embarrassed because she was supposed to be doing a reading and her daughter starts screaming in the middle of it and she has to ask the Rabbi to take back over.

I'd be mad too.

Actually, I'd probably cry.

Anyway, then she wants my number and email address so I can maybe help her out with the kids while she's pregnant. The thought scares the snot out of me, but I felt about bad flat out refusing so I gave her my info.

She leaves to go back into the worship place.

Big Brother starts bouncing off the walls. Turns out he'd been cooped up all day in this little room. I take pity on him and allow Unnamed Helper to take him and Older Girl outside to play on the playground right outside the door.

I can't move for fear of waking Screaming Child.

Three minutes later Older Girl comes back in.

Big Brother is gone.

I died right there.

I wish.

Screaming Child wakes up when I leap up. "What?!" My voice sounds oddly strangled.

"We were playing hide and seek."

"What!?" My voice has recovered. I have to yell to be heard over screaming child.

We go outside and yell for Big Brother. Unnamed Helper takes off around the building... barefoot.

Big Brother comes back less than two minutes later. "Where's Unnamed Helper?" He asks innocently.

I struggle to keep my voice even. "Looking for you, Big Brother. Let's go back inside and wait for him." I turn around and find to my horror that the door is locked.

My heart sinks to even further depths.

Screaming Child ceases her screaming momentarily as Unnamed Helper comes running back around the builiding. He sags in relief when he spots Big Brother. "Where were you?" He demanded, annoyed.

"Where were you?" I ask, nearly in tears.

"Well, I ran into a cop."

"What!?" I pray that God takes me right there.

"I didn't mean to, he stopped me." Unnamed Helper looks worried.

"What did you say?"

"He asked me what I was doing?"

"What did you say?!" I'm not sure which was worse, the nausea or the hysteria.

"I told him I was looking for a little boy."

I think I was having an out of body experience as I left Unnamed Helper, Big Brother, and Older Girl at the back door and I walk quickly around to the front door carrying Screaming Child. I run into a cop.

"She's cute."

"Yeah. She's tired. And wants her mom... and... we um... got locked out." Strangled laugh. Yup. I'm definitely getting hysterical. I dart back down the hall, Screaming child's cries reverberating throughout the building, and let the others back in.

Big Brother continues to bounce off the walls until I relent and let them back outside. Unnamed Helper promises to not let them out of sight.

My bonding time with Screaming Child was interrupted as an old guy and another cop walks into the youth room. I throw a nervous smile at them and focus on trying to calm Screaming Child.

"Are you her mother?" The old guy asks snidely, smirking.

Um, yeah, that would be why she's screaming for her mother at the top of her lungs. "No, I'm, um, the babysitter?" I reply tentatively, leaving the acerbic commentary in my head where it's safer.

"Do you have someone helping you?" Mr. Smirky asks, his tone making it very clear that he already knows the answer.

"Um, yeah?"

"Where is he?"

I want to slap the smug smirk off his face but I restrain myself and meekly reply. "He's... um... he's outside with Big Brother and Older Girl?" I stammer pathetically. Playing in traffic whilst running with scissors.

"Well he needs to come back inside and whoever he's with needs to come in as well. You're not allowed to leave this room." Mr. Smirky says condescendingly. "And he really should be wearing shoes." Mr. Smirky glances around the room, disdain plainly written on his aged visage. "These toys should not be out. She," He gestures toward Screaming Child. "Could choke on them."

Do I look like I was born yesterday? Yeah, I know losing a kid is a pretty big no-no but c'mon... I'm holding Screaming Child, age appropriate toys are the only ones near us, give me a break, okay? I nod mutely instead.

Mr. Smirky and Silent Cop leave.

I die some more then call Unnamed Helper, Big Brother, and Older Girl back in.

Nice Mom -- formerly known as Irate Mom -- comes back a half an hour or so later. "Oh, they look like they're doing great."

"Yeah, um, Unnamed Helper and Big Brother were playing hide and seek outside." I feel myself getting hysterical again.

"That's nice."

"Yeah, but, um, they're back in now!" I do that weird choking laugh thing again, sweat beading on my forehead.

Nice Mom doesn't notice. I chat with her until I can escape gracefully.

I'm still waiting for an irate email from Nice Mom when she finds out I lost her kid.

I haven't heard from anybody about them actually paying me for those three torturous hours.

But that's okay. I escaped with my life and haven't been arrested... yet... of course it's only been three days... *hysterical smiley*

*Update- Dad thinks he fixed my dishwasher while I was writing this... cross your fingers...

Oh and I totally was not exaggerating! Just ask Unnamed Helper. For real, folks, it was horrible.

I almost died today...

2009-07-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

I did... it was a harrowing experience... I like saying that... it makes me feel dangerous...

Pretty, huh? I love my backyard... it makes me feel tranquil...

I love the garden... it makes me feel earthy...

Eggs...

I love Travis... he makes me feel sick... I'm really sorry about that picture... but it begged to be included in this post and I just can't seem to say no...

I love Kenneth... when he takes interesting pictures it makes me feel valued... or something like that...

Dogwood blossoms look like snow...

See?

I love my lilies... they make me feel Asiatic...

Lavender? No... Lilac... hehe... doesn't my botanical prowess amaze and astound you greatly?

So I almost died today... while digging potatoes... *dramatic pause*

Yup.

We dug potatoes with a backhoe...

Hey... there were a lot of weeds... because there's been a lot of rain... so yeah... it was Dad's idea... blame him, okay?

So we let Dad drive the backhoe... 'cause it's pretty much his backhoe... but see, he isn't really used to it yet... and the lever thingies are a bit touchy... yeah... we'll get to that later...

So Dad was using the backhoe to dig, then he'd shake the bucket thing to kinda sift through the sod and Trav and I picked up the potatoes as they fell out... it was a really good idea... and it was oh so much easier than manually digging them with a shovel thing... I'd rather face death than dig a ton of potatoes with a shovel... and when I say ton... I mean ton...

So there we were, trying to hurry because it was going to storm and we wouldn't be able to get the backhoe in the garden with it all soggy...

But see... there were those touchy levers... and when you touch a touchy lever the humongous arm goes swinging around randomly at insane speeds and tries to knock your head off... it had a mind of it's own... so there we were, picking up potatoes and dodging the backhoe arm thing and the adrenalin was going and all... it was quite exhilarating... yeah... and then the heavy fork thing falls off...

So we haphazardly stick it back on... but it's loose... really loose...

And I'm minding my own business picking up potatoes under the big heavy bucket thing when Dad starts jiggling it to knock out more potatoes and nearly drops the thing on my head...

Travis gives me an incredulous look and says something like... "You might not want to be under there while he's doing that..."

No kidding.

Aren't ya'll glad I didn't die?

Yeah... me too...

Meet my new best friend...

2009-07-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

I have had severe female issues for about 3 weeks now... but I'm not going to get into that... suffice it to say, my heating pad has been in near continual use during this time. Well, she died last night in the middle of the night and I had to suffer through all of today without my best friend, my constant companion, my heating pad.

Angie bought me a new one. Thank you, Angie, I love you!

Meet my new best friend, Heather. (get it... *heat her*... yeah me neither...)
This is Heather, she is technologically advanced. Seriously... I had to read the instruction manual... something I would have done anyway because I have this strange love for instruction manuals but rarely do I actually *have* to read them... I usually just do it for fun...

She has a nifty LCD screen and a timer and she's just pretty... and her cover is so soft... and she's warm... and she eases my pain and allows me to sleep... I love Heather. Heather is my new best friend. I just thought you two should meet.

Call your Senators now!

2009-07-03T06:29:00.000-07:00

We have got to stop "cap and trade"! It doesn't even make sense! Buying the right to pollute is not going to help our economy or our environment. Maybe if we would just make it easier on small farmers, encourage recycling and other "green stuff" instead of making it so expensive... grr... well, I don't talk right, so read these two articles, they're awesome. Then call or email your Senators and tell them they'd better not vote for this piece of insanity.

Thank you.

The "American Clean Energy and Security" Rip-Off
By Peter Orvetti
Published 06/29/09

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On Friday evening, the House of Representatives passed the American Clean Energy and Security Act (ACES), a well-intentioned but misbegotten Frankenstein monster of a bill intended to combat climate change. Republicans Mary Bono Mack, Mike Castle, Mark Kirk, Frank LoBiondo, John McHugh, Dave Reichert, and Chris Smith joined 211 Democrats to put the bill over the top 219-212. Showing the profiles in courage typical to elected politicians, about three dozen Democrats hung back during the roll call until passage was certain, waiting until they could safely vote no without riling their party's leaders.

As its sponsors struggled to make it palatable to representatives from energy-producing states, the bill swelled from 942 pages to just over 1,200, leaving undecided members little time to digest the new material. This brings to mind Rep. John Conyers's admission to Michael Moore that members of Congress "don't really read most of the bills" they vote for, because it would "slow down the legislative process."

Two weeks after his election as president, Barack Obama said, "Few challenges facing America and the world are more urgent than combating climate change. The science is beyond dispute and the facts are clear." Shortly thereafter, more than 100 scientists signed a newspaper advertisement responding, "With all due respect Mr. President, that is not true." The scientists, from places as varied and esteemed as Los Alamos National Laboratory, the American Physical Society, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Princeton University, and the University of Pennsylvania, said the "case for alarm regarding climate change is grossly overstated."

But even many who are not skeptical about global warming found things to dislike in ACES. Rep. Dennis Kucinich, who voted against it, said, "It won't address the problem. In fact, it might make the problem worse." Kucinich faulted the bill's "Enron-style accounting methods" and allocation of $60 billion for Carbon Capture and Sequestration, "a single technology which may or may not work." Kucinich faulted the corporate welfare embedded in the bill, saying that the "trillion dollar carbon derivatives market will help Wall Street investors," with any benefits "passed through coal companies and other large corporations, on whom we will rely to pass on the savings."

"I take climate change seriously," libertarian economist Megan McArdle wrote last week. But she said the projections for ACES's "effect on global warming are entirely negligible," and any hope that U.S. passage of the bill will "persuade China and India to get on board" is "entirely wishful thinking on the part of American environmentalists. China is not going to let its citizens languish in subsistence farming because 30 years from now, some computer models say there will be some not-well-specified bad effects from high temperatures. Nor is India."

Indeed, United Nations data suggest that ACES will reduce global warming by 0.07 of a degree Fahrenheit by 2050. In exchange, the U.S. risks sparking a trade war with those two massive economic powers when their own near-certain failure to act results in U.S. sanctions. While the Congressional Budget Office says ACES will drive up the average family's energy bill by about $175 per year by 2020, that does not take into account the larger economic cost.

A Center for Data Analysis study concludes ACES will hurt the gross domestic product by $9.4 trillion by 2035 and cost the average family $1,241 per year. That's because, as the Wall Street Journal put it last week, "the whole point of cap and trade is to hike the price of electricity and gas so that Americans will use less. These higher prices will show up not just in electricity bills or at the gas station but in every manufactured good, from food to cars." A British analysis finds the average family there is paying nearly $1,300 a year for carbon-cutting programs that were introduced just a few years ago.

As Obama himself said during his run for the Democratic presidential nomination, "Under my plan of a cap and trade system, electricity rates would necessarily skyrocket. Businesses would have to retrofit their operations. That will cost money. They will pass that cost onto consumers." Meanwhile, reductions in consumer spending will necessarily mean a decline in production which could eliminate more than 1.1 million jobs.

This is an awful lot to pay for legislation that will not reduce global warming and will not encourage other major economic powers to become more environmentally conscious. Maybe next time, Congress should read the bill before voting on it.

Copyright © 2009 Peter Orvetti

Cap and Trade Equals Fraud and Tax
By Glenn Jacobs
Published 07/01/09

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H.R. 2454: American Clean Energy and Security Act of 2009 will result in a totalitarian centralization of the American economy in the administrative agencies of the federal government, especially the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). This 1,300 page horror is a prime example of congressional modus operandi -- no one in Congress actually had the opportunity to read the bill which was, incidentally, being amended as it was debated on the floor. As H.R. 2454 shows, this axiom still holds true: the more benign the title of a congressional bill, the more draconian its contents. After all, who could be against clean energy or security? The real goal of H.R. 2454 has nothing to do with either of these; it is a power grab, pure and simple.

While we have all heard much about the tax implications of H.R. 2454 and that every American family could see a $3,000 a year increase in their energy costs, H.R. 2454 does much more than that. H.R. 2454 is a fascistic fait accompli, giving the government expansive powers to regulate, subsidize, and tax more sectors of the economy. The bill authorizes more federal government control over the electrical grid, state and local building codes, lighting and appliances, industry, the financial markets, and, perhaps most ominously of all, the health care system. In addition, it includes wealth redistribution measures and would allow increases in foreign aid.

Part of the rhetoric surrounding H.R. 2454 is that it will help break America's dependency on foreign oil by encouraging development of renewable energy sources. Most likely, the opposite will happen as oil companies "cope with U.S. carbon legislation by closing fuel plants, cutting capital spending and increasing imports."

Ironically, cap and trade -- the cornerstone of H.R. 2454 -- does not protect the environment! Even Greenpeace opposed H.R. 2454, recognizing that it "chooses politics over science." While I would argue that the science to which Greenpeace refers is dubious at best, there is no question that H.R. 2454 has put politics above all else.

In a cap and trade system, the government deems a certain level of pollution acceptable as long as the polluter pays a tax. That's like saying that it's acceptable for someone to throw trash on your lawn so long as he has bought a government permit. Even worse, he can throw even more trash on your lawn if he buys additional permits from someone who refrains from throwing trash on your lawn. In effect, cap and trade legalizes pollution.

Advocates of cap and trade have used tortured logic to portray it as a market based system. James Boyce, an economist at the University of Massachusetts, claims that "this is the biggest creation and allocation of property rights since the Homestead Act." This statement is false on its face and falls into the realm of fantasy.

Unlike the Homestead Act which dealt with property that actually existed in the real world, the property rights to which Boyce refers have been created exclusively through government edit. There is no such thing as a "carbon credit" except on a bureaucrat's spreadsheet. Boyce's statement turns the concept of property rights -- the basis of a free society -- on its head. The "right" to pollute is not a form of property, it is a government granted privilege.

No one has a "right" to have clean air and water provided for them at someone else's expense. But no one should have the "right" to pollute air or water that he does not own. Far from creating a new form of property rights, cap and trade undermines the property rights that we own in our own bodies by granting polluters the legal privilege of polluting resources that they do not own and that we put into our bodies, i.e. air and water.

Litigation (in the cases where harm has come to individuals) and a strict respect for property rights offer much more effective ways of dealing with pollution than regulation does.

True environmentalists -- those of us who are concerned about things such as clean air and water -- should oppose schemes like H.R. 2454. H.R. 2454 is not designed to clean up the environment. It is designed to generate more revenue for the government and to give the government more power over the economy, our lives, and our freedom. And it does so at the expense of the environment.

Copyright © 2009 Campaign for Liberty

If ya aren't convinced yet, research it for yourself. Read over the bill, it's scary in its vagueness... They can seriously tax our cow for her flatulence... that's not right, friends. I thought the organic farming fiasco of a bill was bad... this one is worse. I really fear for America if it passes.

What kind of cake do you make for a plumber?

2009-07-02T05:53:00.000-07:00

A toilet cake of course!

In my defense it was Kenneth's idea... and since his dad was the plumber in question... yeah... okay...

The cake was chocolate and white chocolate and all buttercream yummyness... and 3 toothpicks and a dowel rod...

Warning! This chocolate cake recipe is totally addicting... totally... even if you don't like chocolate cake, you will not be able to stop eating this... I kid you not.

Sour Cream Chocolate Cake

1 3/4 C. Flour
1 tsp. Baking Soda
1/2 tsp. Salt
1/2 C. Butter
1 1/2 C. Sugar
1/2 tsp. Vanilla
2 Eggs ... they're camera shy...
3 oz. Unsweetened Chocolate, melted and cooled OR 3 Tbs. Unsweetened Cocoa and 1 Tbs. Coconut oil (or oil of your choice... but trust me... organic coconut oil in chocolate cake is amazingness defined...)
1/2 C. Sour Cream
1 C. Cold Water

Ignore the Baking Powder... I was confused... hehe

Okay. So preheat your oven to 350* Grease and flour two 8 in. pans or make a double batch and way overstuff a 13x7... I like Wilton's cake release and Pam's baking spray... because I'm lazy and can't really get the hang of the whole flour thing...

Mix the flour, baking soda, and salt together...

Cream the butter until light and fluffy...

That looks seriously fluffy...

Add sugar and vanilla and continue to cream until it is very fluffy...

VERY fluffy...

Adding the eggs one at a time, mix on high speed until the mixture is well combined...

Slowly mix in the chocolate and sour cream...

Or just dump all the chocolate in there at once... hehe... sorry... I can't follow directions... it's beyond me...

Pretty...

Alternately add the water and the flour mixture in small amounts until just mixed...

Pour into the prepared baking pans...

I really like to overfill the pan... it makes me feel dangerous...

Or maybe I wanted a taller cake... but at any rate... it probably was not the best idea in the world...

As I ended up with a flaming oven... see the baking soda? Hehe...

You totally have to have a dog laying in the middle of the kitchen floor... the cake just will not turn out right unless you are constantly stepping on and tripping over a lazy canine... aren't Bre's sandals pretty? I love green...

Okay... I stopped taking pictures for a while because I got busy making the cake balls. Basically I cut and stacked and dowel rodded the cake into a sort of toilet shape... it's not a true toilet shape because I don't have the skill required to engineer that kind of edible feat... so I made a toilet-ish shape and Bre iced and smoothed it...

She did a fabulous job... don't you think?

We made a thicker buttercream for the seat and details. I painted the flusher knob thingie with edible silver stuff...

And Trav insisted we put some poo in it... so I plopped some chocolate wafers in the toilet, took a picture... and ate them... best poo ever... yum...

Anyone hungry?

Sour Cream Chocolate Cake recipe

Slow Fade

2009-06-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil. Cling to what is good.
Romans 12:9

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
2 Timothy 2:22

This is love for God: to obey his commands.
1 John 5:3

The more I give up of the world the more I am convicted of the things I still cling to.

Why do I cling to what is evil? Why do I toe the line? Why do I see just how far I can get? Just how much I can get away with? The bare minimum of righteousness I can live with?

Where is my love for God? Where is my desire for Him? Where is my passion? Where is my faith?

How did I get here? How do I go back? How do I love God? Truly honestly completely with all of my heart mind soul strength love God?

Where did we start to fade?

I want to play Mass Effect. I have been convicted that I am not to play that game. This is my personal conviction, I'm not condemning anyone who has played that game, I'm just telling you all so that I will have some extra accountability in this area. It's incredibly tempting for me. How stupid is that? Why is it so hard? Why is obeying God so difficult? This is not just about a video game... by the way... ;-) I'm just using it as an example in my life where, despite the blatant "stop sign" I've received from God, I want to plow on ahead anyway even though I know it is so not worth it.

But you know what? Maybe it starts with a video game. Or a movie. Or a book. Or a relationship. Maybe it starts with that still small voice telling you to just back away, turn around, and flee for goodness sake. Even though it looks harmless. Even though it seems okay. It's not that bad. It's just a little thing. But it's the beginning. It's where you begin to fade.

I feel as though I'm hanging on by my fingernails, He's going to have to frap me together, 'cause I'm losing it, friends.

It's not just me. One of my closest friends, my sister, is so discouraged, she is this close to losing heart and I have no idea what to do. I am so scared because I've seen how far she's come, she's never loved God like this before and I can't see her lose the fight. I can't see her give in. Don't let the fire die.

Today is the day. Do not harden your hearts. While it is still called Today, cling to God. Turn away. Is it really worth it? Gwen, is it really worth it? (yeah, I'm talking to myself.... it's okay, I hope...)

I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God.
Isaiah 11:19,20

Meet Micah

2009-06-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

Travis and I wanted a little brother or sister but Mom and Dad were not so sure. They told us to pray. We prayed. For two years. On May 17, 2000 our prayers were answered. Micalyn Nicole entered the world.

She was so darn cute. Oh my word. I wish you could see her newborn pictures, but my printer scanner thing is malfunctioning and this was back before we owned a digital camera.

Oh goodness... Oh I can't stand it... I'm gonna cry!

Her third birthday... see... three candles... *sniff*

I'm pretty sure we'd just finished making cookies... Oh those curls...

Micah and her BFF Kaiserin (Rin) Oh that dog adores her... and she adores that dog... they are inseparable...

See?

This was my favorite outfit... the hat... oh... I miss it...

Her lightsaber facination began at an early age...

Micah and her other BFF... me!

Do you have any idea how many pictures it took to get her to smile? The look on Trav's face should give you a hint...

We three kings... Kids church christmas play... we made the camels... and the sheep... I have video... hehe

Awww...

Happy Birthday Micah! It was a jungle birthday party... that's supposed to be a snake... not a green elephant turd... um... it was my first attempt at a cake?

Micah meets my future husband and promptly decides that she is going to marry him too...

Look at those blue eyes... Christmas '06

Travis' Christmas Cards... Micah wasn't too happy about being stuck up on the roof of the chicken house... but it made a great picture!

A week before the wedding... she's trying to steal my boyfriend...

Micah and Chip playing the DS... hehe... I think this was Bre and Brishaun's birthday party '07

Micah's tea party birthday party... and the first of two broken arms that summer... (fell off Dad's work truck)

The second of two broken arms that summer... (fell off the monkey bars at Kramers during the Nevertheless concert...)

"Hiking" in Shawnee...

It's a turnip...

She likes chickens...

She does not like waking up... Fat Boy wasn't trying very hard, though...

She was a toy soldier in her first ballet "The Nutcracker" one month after starting dance at CCDE in November 2007

She has a lot of hair...

Decorating the tree...

Advertising for Orange Soda...

Waiting backstage. Midsummer Night's Dream in Princeton. She was a dragonfly... later in the year she became a butterfly.

See? Only you can't tell she's a butterfly because I was a dork and didn't take a picture of her with her costume on...

She was also a tree in Sleeping Beauty... but I forgot my camera... because I'm a dork...

Her ballet birthday party in '08... I thought a CCC would be fun... HA! Not! I hate CCCs... It was yummy though... that's all that counts, right?

Okay... so horses and ballet don't really go together... but that's Micah so we did a ballet birthday party... and rode horses... Micah riding double with her cousin Maddie on Dandy... Travis is leading them because Dandy is dork and we don't trust him...

Micah in Nashville, IN We all went there for our 2nd wedding anniversary... it's gorgeous... I love it there...

Micah and the Dumpster... there is a story... but it wants to wait to be told...

Micah was a gingerbread in the parade... I think it was a Thanksgiving parade... but I can't remember...

Tree trimming party '08... Micah showing Dad his rooster ornament...

Micah was an angel in the Nutcracker '08

She was also a Gingerbread girl...

This is very typical... for one thing... Micah LOVES those gloves... she'd wear them 24/7 if she could... and Micah LOVES Bre... so if Bre is sitting in a chair... Micah is sitting on the arm of the chair...

Hehe... she's so cute!

Cleaning up and Grandmas after the storms earlier this year...

If there is a fire... we must play in it... it's genetic...

So that's Micah... she can't really be explained in words... or even pictures... she's just that awesome. I had a very hard time limiting myself to these pictures... we have tons... and tons... and they're all awesome and then of course there are the events that I didn't get pictures of... like her soccer games and her surgery at Riley and Sleeping Beauty and Alice in Wonderland (I did get Alice pictures on my phone... but I have no idea how to get them off and into my 'puter... any ideas?)

So yeah... Micah is beautiful and talented and smart and sweet and the most selfless kid I've met. She loves animals, her family, kid's church, ballet, tomatoes, and Star Wars.

And she's goofy...

And this is a crazy long post...

We Love Veggies!

2009-06-12T07:47:00.000-07:00

Veggie Taaaales Veggie Taaaales Veggie Taaaales Vegg-ie Tales... Broccoli....Celery... Gotta Be... Veggie Tales!

No, wait! Come back! I won't sing anymore... I promise!

Sorry about that... I couldn't resist...

Okay... so veggies are super yummy... Oh boy... we love veggies... we eat veggies... a lot... we've had fried cabbage 5 nights in a row... I kid you not... and there are 5 heads still in my fridge... and 22 still in the garden... yeah... but anyway... cabbage tastes so good, but it also makes a great... um... hat?

My husband... the cabbage patch kid...

And radishes... oh my word... radish chips are so yummy... saute 'em in a little butter then toss 'em with some spices and stick 'em on a cookie sheet in the oven until crispy... then eat 'em...

oh yeah... they also make fabulous eyes...

Oh my...

Head and shoulders knees and toes knees and toes...

Eyes...

And ears... and mouth and...

Nose... head and shoulders knees and toes knees and toes!

No, wait! Come back! I won't sing anymore... I... um ... promise?

Well... after I sing the belly button song... then I won't sing anymore, okay?

Go eat some veggies! Or wear 'em... whatever floats yer boat!

Happy Birthday Micah!

2009-06-09T06:09:00.000-07:00

My little sister turned nine on May 17, 2009... we celebrated her ninth birthday on May 31, 2009... why so late, you ask? Because May is apparently ballet month and she had performances or dress rehearsals every Sunday except Mother's Day... but we all know what we did on Mother's Day... so the 31 was the only day in May that would work...

Are you wondering why I am just now blogging about this event? No? Well I'll tell ya anyway... I'm a procrastinator... but... I really was going to blog about this... a week ago.... but my lovely Kenneth unloaded the memory card in our camera onto his computer... and then erased it... and then asked me "Is that okay?"! No! No it's not okay! But there really isn't anything we can do about it now, is there? Now I'm stuck with all my pictures on his computer... and his keyboard is evil... and I can't type right... and... and... *sigh* I can't stay mad at him... not even for a second... he's just so darn cute.

See? *big sigh* I love you Kenneth... but I hate your keyboard... for punishment... I'm making sauerkraut... and you shall eat it... and like it... hehe ... or I'll just eat it and make you kiss me...

Anyway. Back to the birthday thing... Micah is obsessed with Star Wars... it runs in the family... She is particularly obsessed with anything from the clone wars time period. So I made her these invitations...

See? That's the inside... it's a Republic Commando's HUD... yeah... no one else got it either... I'm just slightly obsessed with clones...

So all the little Padawans arrived at 4 ish and played in the backyard for about an hour. I had planned to play "Pin the 'saber on the Jedi" (thank you Simmering Over the Koals for the idea) and "Musical Speeders" but they were having plenty of fun on their own... I've learned to not force party games on younglings unless they need them... so they played... and then we ate cake...

That's a lightsaber... and training remote... specifically, Bao Dur's (I'm in love with Bao Dur... don't tell Kenneth)

The lightsaber is life size (meter long blade with an approx. ten inch hilt) as is the remote (ten inch diameter) Yup... I'm a geek...

Micah requested carrot cake... I love that kid... oh my word... carrot cake... (I'm in love with carrot cake w/ cream cheese icing... don't tell Kenneth) So her lightsaber is carrot cake, and since not all young people are as culinarily refined as my dear little sister... the remote is half chocolate half butter. Oh and all cream cheese buttercream... I don't do fondant... the point of cake is tasting good... right? Well fondant... is nasty... even marshmallow fondant... and I refuse to demean my cakes in such a way... Or maybe I just can't seem to get the hang of fondant...

Okay... so we ate yummy cake and yummy ice cream and then we played a bit longer...

There's Brishaun setting up the "dummy"... Micah and Brishaun go through "dummies" like crazy... Brishaun is a Ninja and Micah is a Jedi Ninja... yeah... we're a peaceful family...

Wow... Kyler is looking pretty ninja-ish... And we're advertising for Rural King... they make the best "dummies"... hehe...

Micah is vicious... she is an expert feed bag killer... is this the same kid that is training to be a ballerina?

Sure looks like it... (backstage after the Nutcracker in New Harmony... fyi)

I spent the majority of the time hogging baby Joely... I'm not a bit sorry...

Okay... back to the party... after killing the dummy... they opened presents!

From Travis and Sara...

We are slightly obsessed with Hoops and YoYo...

Nerf Ninja Swords...

A Ninja Master Set...

And... Sparklers and those poppy things you throw at people... or maybe you're not supposed to throw them at people... but we do anyway... We're a peaceful people...

From Angie and The Twins...

Psychedelic Hats...

A Talking Gerbil Card... or something like that... we like talking cards...

A Jedi Robe that Bre made... She's going to make me one too... I have robe envy...

And a bokeh that I don't have a picture of... I think that's how you spell it... a Samurai training sword?

From Kenneth and I...

Clone Wars: Vol. 2 and Barbie: Thumbelina (not pictured) She's a little excited...

From the Hatfields...

Squirt guns... lots and lots of squirt guns... Are we seeing a theme?

From Emmy...

An adorable card she made...

And lots and lots of cool art stuff...

From the McCools...

An awesome Beth Moore book... we love Beth Moore... (What's up with Micah's eyes? She's looking a bit Sith-ish... scary...)

And this adorable shirt.... "be original"... I want one...

The we went back outside and put those presents to good use...

I love this picture... and that robe... the ugly equipment in the background... not so much...

I'm sure using the fountain to refill the water guns had nothing to do with the filter getting clogged up...

This picture is blurry... but I love it... Carson is just too cute...

I'm sure this is how all families demonstrate love...

Emmy and Micah... She was dressed up as Princess Leia... it was too cute....

Someone got a hold of my camera... Kenneth cut off my legs... but he did not escape unscathed... looks like Micah is going to stab me in the back... she has no honor... And Harmony has taken up residence on the trampoline to escape Skittles, the over exuberant and over sized puppy...

Throwing those exploding poppy things at each other...

After the kids were all worn out... we ate...

The Food...

The Fire...

Roasting and Reclining...

The food was good... Everyone except for the twins went home... we fed the "livestock"... and changed clothes...

And played flashlight tag until the wee hours of the morning... it was fun...

Happy Birthday Micah! Love you, you little ninja jedi mando'ad squirt!

Re'turcye mhi!

What Cake Wreck Are You?

2009-05-23T12:04:00.001-07:00

I used to be addicted to stupid quizzes in highschool... but when I was checking out Cake Wrecks today and saw the link to this quiz... I just couldn't help myself... I had to take it... so I did... and guess what?!

I'm the carrot jockeys cake! I have these little guys on a t-shirt... hehe...

I... wait, what? Babies with... what? You're just plain weird sometimes.

( http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/06/naked-mohawk-baby-carrot-jockeys.html )

You have so gotta go take the quiz now... it's too fun!

Okay... so the quizzy linky thingy isn't really working... so just scroll down and hit submit and then take the quiz... 'k?

Apologies and a Reply to a Reply

2009-05-19T14:37:00.000-07:00

I am sorry. I really am. I know I say that a lot, that I joke about it, but today I am really truly sorry.

My spirit is grieved.

In my love for and defense of the unborn and unknown children, I have failed to love my sisters in Christ. For that I am deeply, sincerely sorry.

I woke up this morning and the first thing I did was check my email. This is nothing unusual, but today I also checked beautyfromchaos.com a blog written by an amazing, godly, lovely woman named Jes.

Jes had written a post about some of the effects of chemical birth control, one brand of pill in particular. I, in my usual blunt style said some things that did not agree with the majority of the women there. Naturally, I wanted to see how they responded. I read through them and as I did, I felt those familiar defenses rise. In particular, the quoting of that way over used and highly misused "Judge Not" verse upset me. It's one of my pet peeves you could say... right up there with calling Christian Rock music evil.

After reading those replies I went straight for my Bible and spent the next several hours searching the Scriptures. As I searched, God was whacking me over the head. That might be a slight exaggeration, but not much of one. Over and over again I read to love. Rebuke, yes. Correct, you'd better believe it. Speak the hard truths, we are commanded. BUT DO IT LOVINGLY, GWEN!!!

I spouted off before I prayed. Maybe God would have given me different words. Or maybe those were the right words but my heart attitude would have affected the way my words were received. I'll never know. I cannot undo what I did, but I can pray that hearts will be changed in spite of my foolishness. I pray that hearts will be changed, because this is an important thing. This is life or death. This is when we put our faith into action.

I know better now. I know that debates over the Internet rarely end well. Typed and written words simply can not convey the emotions and inflections of the human voice. It was not my intention to wound.

This next bit is something that does not bring me any satisfaction. I would rather be done with this topic as it is a source of great grief to me and yet I know that the grief I feel is minuscule in comparison to the way God grieves over these children. Perhaps in reading what I am about to say, someones heart and mind is changed. I pray that God gives me the words.

If you are not a Christian or do not believe in the sanctity of life, then you might as well leave now.

I believe that life begins at conception. I cannot think of any other point at which it would occur. If you agree with that statement than stay with me, okay?

If you are a follower of my Lord, Jesus Christ, and you do not believe that statement, than I urge you to search the scriptures and pray.

I'd like to share the story of a woman I know. She and her husband had been praying and pleading for children and she just thought that she was having late heavy periods. When she talked to her Dr. he informed her that she was ovulating normally, her eggs were being fertilized and then simply were not implanting in her uterus or something like that... I can't remember. She said, "I've been having miscarriages all this time?" She was shocked and extremely upset. Her Dr. gave her a condecending look and replied "Well, if you want to be dramatic about it." She was horrified and justly so. Those were her children. She now has one precious miracle daughter. Her daughter asked her one day, "Mommy, I want a big brother and sister, can you make a big one for me?" and she said, "You do have big brothers and sisters, they're in heaven waiting for you."

I know I did not do that story justice but it touched me. It made it real. Not just some abstract idea, but real, tangible. Hearing that story only reinforced the truth of what I'm about to say.

If life begins at conception than we can safely say that anytime a fertilized egg does not implant and continue living that a death has occurred. Does that make sense? If you haven't already, I suggest you read Jes' blog about birth control. Here's the link... Birth Control?

Okay, you back with me? We're going to assume that that information is indeed accurate. That when you are having sexual relations with your husband while on birth control there is a possibility of an abortion occurring.

Does this grieve you as much as it does me?

I want to reiterate that I am speaking to my sisters in Christ here. The world can do what it wants to. I do not expect unbelievers to adhere to the moral standards and principles given in Scripture. But God demands it of us. As Christians we answer to God and God alone.

I want to throw out some Scriptures I read today. I pray that you listen with an open heart.

Titus 2:12-15
It teaches us to say "no" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope - the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good. These then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.

James 4:4-10
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think that Scripture says without reason that the Spirit envies intensely? But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn, and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will lift you up.

1 Peter 1:14-17
As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." Since you call upon a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear.

2 Peter 3:11-14
Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you be? You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless, and at peace with Him.

1 John 3:4-6
Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. But you know that He appeared so that He might take away our sins. And in Him is no sin. No one who lives in Him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen Him or known Him.

Are you seeing a trend or is it just me? We are commanded to live separate, holy, godly, and dare I say radical and fanatical lives. God is deadly serious about sin. Jesus died for sin. We will be held accountable one day for our actions here on this earth. There is no getting around it. There will be no Dr's excuses. You can't bring your Dr. before God and say "But he said it was the only option." I know that sounds harsh, but believe me when I tell you that I am saying this in love. Agapao love is loving someone in their own best interest. When you spank your child you do it out of love. They don't like it, it hurts, but it could mean the difference between life and death someday. I love you guys. I haven't met you, I haven't read all your stories, but I love you the same.

Yes, ours is a kind, gentle, and forgiving God. But don't forget that his kindness, gentleness, and forgiveness is displayed on the cross. Yes, he is gentle and forgiving of sin, but he is by no means tolerant of sin. Sin is serious. My sin killed my Savior. I want you to know that tears are welling as I think about that things that I've done, the sin I've nurtured and tolerated in my life. If my sin grieves me, what do you think it does to my God? Yes, he will forgive you, but along with that forgiveness, he demands obedience total obedience. He demands that we love his Law that we love his commands. Do I truly love his law? If I do not than I do not truly love God. This was something I worked through just a couple weeks ago. I was convicted of not loving obedience. I was trying to see just how far I could get, just how much I could get away with. I read Romans 1:28 (Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.) It scared me to death. Why was I toeing the line. Flee from evil Gwen! Flee! Don't see how far you can get but rather how close! You bet it's hard... but do it anyway!

A common theme I was seeing was that in some cases there was no alternative. Ladies, if we believe that those fertilized eggs are living and if you are taking medicine that was designed to keep them from continuing to live, then that is a sin. There must be another way. God would not have allowed you to develop this condition if the only way out was to sin. 1 Corinthians 10:13 comes to mind. (No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.) There must be another way, there must be. This is where your faith becomes action.

Just because 95% of fertilized eggs are naturally aborted does not mean it's okay to abort them purposefully. That's dangerously close to saying just because miscarriages happen naturally it's okay to abort children purposefully. (I could not confirm that number, though I admit I did not spend more than 15 minutes googling it. If someone could send me a link or something to reference that percentage, I'd appreciate it) It is this kind of thinking that has gotten us where we are today as a nation. We are a nation that sacrifices our children for convenience sake! Okay, so we're not actually tossing them in the flames before a graven image, but doesn't this scare you? It gives me goosebumps.

This is what I believe God has told me. If I am wrong, then pray that God will convict me of it. I'll be doing the same for you. I do love you all, though I do not even know your names.

If you have something to add, correct, whatever, please feel free to do so. I am not going to attack you, but do not expect to go unchallenged if what you say does not line up with Scripture. Iron sharpens Iron.

Sharpen away.

In Christ's Love,
Gwen ><>

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-13T07:59:00.000-07:00

Hey there everyone!

*crickets*

I know this isn't Mother's Day... but I'm gonna show ya'll what we did to celebrate Mother's Day...
Ready?

*Warning* Vegetarians go away now. Trust me. I'm sorry. Really I am...

We slaughtered chickens on Mother's Day. Yup. But we didn't make Mom help... so that totally counts for something... that was like... her present... yeah... don't you wish you were my Mom?

We woke up early...

This is Sara... my brother's fiancee... she's gorgeous... and sleepy...

Then we went out to the garage and set everything up...

Killing cones, scalder, and picker... I love the picker... the picker is my friend...

The "gutting table"... this is where Sara and I will be hanging out for the rest of the morning...

The chill buckets... they don't have the ice in them yet...

And... the most important piece of equipment of all...

The ipod and the self powered speaker... these we cannot do without... We started out with some Praise and Worship... it is Sunday after all...

These are my feet... rubber shoes are a must... have you any idea how difficult it is to clean sneakers?

Sara's feet...

I didn't take pictures of anyone else's feet... I know you are so disappointed...

Okay... so... First you go get the chickens from the pasture. *soapbox warning* We raise happy chickens. Our meat birds have had wonderful lives and die humane, painless deaths. They got to be outside, picking at bugs and eating grass and leading normal, happy chicken lives rather than being stuck in a tiny cage and never seeing the sun... *okay done with the soapboxing*

We use our old bunny cages to transport the chickens up to the garage... hey... it works...

Then you get a chicken out...

I don't know why this picture is fuzzy, but there is Sara, gently lifting a chicken out of the cage.
We don't want to traumatize the birds so everything is done as gently as possible. I don't know if chickens feel fear the way we do, but they don't make a fuss so I like to think that one minute they're hanging with their brothers and sisters and the next they are feeling lightheaded and lose consciousness.

You load the chicken, head first into the killing cone...

Travis gently lowering the bird...

Making sure the head comes out right and doesn't get twisted around up in there...

And then you just slit their throats, making sure that you don't hit anything but the artery.
If you do it correctly, the chicken doesn't feel any pain and just goes to sleep.

Here's Kenneth, he and Travis usually do the killing. I can't handle it and Dad is the best at the scalding thing.

Next we lower the deceased chickens into the scalding thing.

Dad attaching them to the "shackles"...

They have to be dunked about 6 times in order to loosen up the feathers. If you just leave them in there, they'll actually cook and the the skin will tear in the picker, but if you under-scald them
the feathers don't all come off in the picker and I have to pull them off and that makes me annoyed.

Next, we release the chickens into the picker...

The picker is an amazing thing. I love the picker. The chickens go in all feathered and come out naked... it is a thing of great wonder.

After the chickens leave the picker, they make their way over to Sara and I at the gutting table.

We cut off the feet first followed by the head and neck. This all goes in the "icky bucket". Next we cut off the tail and cut around the vent, being very very careful not to break anything open. I'm not going to go into detail about what happens when things break open... you can thank me later. The insides are then carefully pulled out. We pinch off the heart and liver, clean out the liver and then both go into the small ice buckets on the counter. We pull the lungs out and testicles, if present, and then do a final check to make sure it's all cleaned out.

These are the biggest testicles I've ever seen... on a chicken... erm... yeah... I wish we had another pair for comparison, but here they are up next to the well endowed guys heart. Crazy.

We have to keep the knives sharp. This is important.

After the chickens have been gutted, we rinse them, do a final feather and inside check and then into the chill buckets they go. The first immersion we call the pink water. You can probably figure out why.

I don't have a picture... sorry... I figured I'd better put down the camera and help poor Sara.

When we're all finished. The clean up begins. Sara transferred the chickens from the pink water in the garage to the chill tanks we had set up in the walk-in refrigerator at the horse barn.

Dad went to dig a hole with the backhoe for the chicken ickies and blood. I won't show you all that stuff...

Then he helped Kenneth and Travis finish the clean up of the equipment and garage floor.

See?

I finally put down the camera and cleaned the knives and disinfected the sink, counters, and walls in the gutting area. Then I went inside to take a shower and order some pizza. We should be able to eat chicken again next week. For now... it's beef... lots and lots of beef...

The next day after the chickens have been soaking in salt water for 24 hours (draws out the rest of the blood, makes things more tidy...) We get to package them. Yay. In December we slaughtered 72 chickens. We were up until 7 that evening doing all the cleanup. It was ridiculous. The next day, Sara and I worked for 7 hours straight getting them packaged. It was ridiculous. This year we did 30 chickens. We were done, clean up and all, by noon. Packaging took 3 hours.

The packaging process is pretty simple. We only left 4 whole. I don't like cooking whole chickens... it annoys me. So we had 26 chickens to cut up. We sever the wings and the thighs and legs. These go in one pile. The breasts come off next, we take the skin off and butterfly them. They go in another pile. Everything that's left we call soup bones and they go in a third pile. Then everything is wrapped in plastic wrap and then butcher paper, labeled, weighed, and put in the freezer by walk-in.

The counter looks like this...

That's only half of 'em...

All in all we had about 130 lbs. of processed chicken. That my friends... is a lot of chicken...

Happy Mother's Day!

Faith Like Potatoes

2009-04-26T06:05:00.001-07:00

I laughed. I cried. It moved me Bob.

Awesome awesome movie. It is now one of my all time favorites... it's just that good. Oh my word.

Okay, so I'm not going to tell ya all about it... cause I don't wanna spoil it for ya... but... the wife... her name was Jill... (although I thought it was Jule the entire time... until the credits... because of the accents... and I could go on and on about the accents... but I won't... aren't you relieved?)

Anyway, Jill. I want to be Jill. She was beautiful. Seriously amazingly beautiful. I cannot describe how beautiful she was. Not just physically. Although the actress was physically beautiful, her character and the peace she exhibited made her so amazing. The stuff they went through... I would be screaming at God and throwing a fit... and she just makes the best of it.

I want to be like that. I don't even have a hard life and all I do is complain. Pathetic, eh? If anyone reads this, pray for me to be like Jill and have Faith Like Potatoes. Then go watch that movie so you'll know what the heck I'm talkin' about!

Meet Kenneth... he married me...

2009-04-19T02:37:00.000-07:00

...two years and 6 months ago... and he hasn't run away screaming! Well... maybe he's run away screaming... but he comes right back!

Isn't he cute? Isn't he just the cutest thing? *yoyo and hoops smiley*

Day one of our honeymoon... mmm...

I love this picture... I love his hair... I love that look on his face... I love those amazing green eyes... this picture makes me want to run in there and pounce on him... actually... I think I will... it's 5:00 he shoulda been up half an hour ago! hehe... <~~~ mischievous laughter Okay I'm back... I have ants on my desk... I hate ants...

Pounds Hallow in Shawnee, our first wedding anniversary... we went with my family and Angie and the Twins and Chip... you'll have to meet all them some other time... I'm focusing on this really really adorable guy here... hehe... I told him to pose... this is his "I'm cute and I know it so I'm trying not to laugh" smile... This is the smile he gets when he's doing something silly...

The ant carcasses are piling up...

Kenneth and Fayth "cheesin'" ... I love this picture! Kenneth was Fayth's buddy... and the first male person she warmed up to... she loved to say his name... over and over and over... I'm going to go cry now...

My 'puter is messin' up and keeps wanting to publish this before it's ready! Impatient thing...

Dreads... I miss them... it took a looooong time to do them though... but that's okay... it was fun!

The ants have figured out that I am an ant serial killer... they have decided to vacate the area... smart little bugs...

He's really really good at grilling... really good... like ... amazing... mmm...

This is taken in Brown County during our second wedding anniversary... Kenneth is pretending to eat a random nut type thing he found on the ground... he does this a lot...

He also pretends to lick cats...

I love my crazy man.

If you're vegetarian or squeamish I suggest you do not look at this next picture of my "mountain man"...

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Okay... I warned you..

The first chicken he killed...

We found my hair extensions wadded up in the closet... hehe

Okay... so now I have to brag on my man...

Kenneth is amazing. I love being married to him. People would say "Oh you're newlyweds, just wait, it all goes down from here..." and you know what? The lied. Yup. I can't say I'm sorry the lied... I'm actually really relieved... because it hasn't gone down... it's gone up! I feel more and more in love with him everyday. When I think it can't get any better... it does... it's... indescribable. It's a picture of God's love for us... it's awesome and real... and I really really like it.

Kenneth is such an awesome spiritual leader. God has used him so much in my life, to spur on my own growth... it's just cool. I really can't put into words how grateful I am for my husband. He is such a man of God. Really, I feel he's a man after God's own heart. He seeks the Lord. Really seeks. I'm getting all teary eyed just writing about it! He is such an encouragement to me. I go through so many ups and downs... I seriously believe that I'm bi-polar... but I think God is getting me through it and he really uses Kenneth. Kenneth is so gentle with me when I'm down but he doesn't let me stay there... does that make sense? I don't know... he's just too cool for words...

And he lets me rub balloons on his head...

I love him.

Is God telling me I need to get back on my diet and be healthy?

2009-04-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

Okay... so we all know about Bessie, right? Well, if you don't... that's okay... you're better off not knowing... really... So yeah... in addition to Bessie... last Saturday... around 5 pm my eyes started burning and being irritable so I took out my contacts... the burning did not stop... I dealt with it until 10 or so when Sara (my soon to be sister-in-law) gave me some theratears or something like that... so I stuck a million of those things in my eye... my left eye... the right one had been peachy since the initial burning... they didn't work. Oh well... we ate and went to bed....

The next morning... Easter Sunday... the day we were supposed to go to my husband's grandmother's house... I wake up and my eye is so swollen I can barely open it... it HURTS! I get it open, take a shower, desperately put those fake tears in it... all to no avail... Kenneth (my amazing and entirely too... um... cute... husband) went out looking for something that would make it better... he came back with some sort of drops... I put the drops in my eye... the he said we had to go...

But see, I couldn't go... I was wearing my glasses... yeah... and I didn't have even eyeliner on!? It hurt too bad... and I'd look awfully silly with one eye pretty and one eye a puffed up monster... so yeah... he made me go... I wanted to cry... well, I was already tearing up from the irritation... but I wanted to cry from the horror of it... these poor people had never seen me like this! What would they think?! I should've taken a picture... it was grotesque...

So we went... and I just kinda sat on the steps and watched everyone play washers... and the little people kept giving me candy because they felt sorry for me because my eyes were watering... and everyone was really nice and didn't say out loud that I looked hideous... and I know I did because when I asked Kenneth about it he said... "It's okay... you can't help it..." yeah... I really do love my husband... hehe So we finally left... normally I enjoy spending time with his grandparents... they're sooo sweet... but I had a headache and my eye was becoming increasingly swollen... by the time we got home, it was so swollen Mom called the eye doctor... and he agreed to see me at 8:45... I felt really bad... poor guy... but he's been my eye doctor since 1st grade so he understands... I hope...

So I go to the Dr. and he's like wow that's a lot of irritation... only he didn't say it like that because he's got this super calm quiet thing going on and nothing gets him too excited... except that really bad eye infection I had a while back... but that's another story... Basically, my eye was mysteriously annoyed and on the verge of, if not already, infected. So he prescribed 62.00 antibiotics... yeah... for a tiny little bottle of eyedrops... and set me up for an appointment on Tuesday.

Tuesday my eye has not healed sufficiently so he was going to prescribe 50.00 steriods but gave me a sample instead. Apparently the swelling around my eye, my eyelids and such was gone but my actual eye was still swollen. So I'm putting a million very expensive drops in my eye several times a day. I'm feeling very sorry for myself... I haven't worn my contacts or makeup in a week... it's a traumatic experience, let me assure you...

On top of the eye drama, since I've been putting these drops in my eye I have been extraordinarily dizzy and nauseated... maybe it's related... I don't know... but I want to be better again... I'm seriously thinking this is God's way of forcing me back on my healthy diet... I've been consuming an awful lot of HFCS (high fructose corn syrup)... bad Gwen...

Yup... I've been sick... and I'm sick of it... and the computer screen is making me woozy so I'm going to say goodbye...

Goodbye!

We have a new addition to the family...

2009-04-08T05:58:00.000-07:00

... her name is Bessie. At first, I was totally freaked out and embarrassed of Bessie, isn't that horrible? Bessie... she... um... lives in my bum... no, I don't have worms... I... um... have acquired a hemorrhoid. Yup. Why am I telling you this, you wonder horrified? Because I'm a sick person? Probably. Because no one reads this anyway? Maybe. More likely it's my way of coping. Kinda like the chicken slaughter... but I haven't shared that with you yet... something to look forward to.

If you'll excuse me, Bessie is protesting, she doesn't like to be sat on...

Peace and Chicken Grease,
Spoodles ><>

I shower during lightning storms...

2009-04-06T06:42:00.000-07:00

... Yup... I'm just daring that way...

The Bat Mitzva

2009-04-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

I hurt. Everywhere. I hope Travis and Kenneth and that one chick whose name I've forgotten hurt too.

We attended a Bat Mitzvah for the girl I pretty much chauffeur. Her mom teaches ballet (she's my little sister's instructor) and teaches classes everyday until 8 or so, so I pick Leah up from school and either take her to our house to hang out with the chickens or to the humane society on Wednesdays to hang out with the doggies and kitties and bunnies. So anyway. This Bat Mitzvah. I was sort of the party coordinator. I helped with the preparations, made some of the decorations, showed up early and set stuff up and stayed after to clean up.

The morning ceremony went great. I had no idea what was going on because most of it was in Hebrew... so I just kinda hummed along and watched what every one else was doing. The luncheon afterward was pretty good. It got really fun at the end when Brishaun brought out the leftover helium tank.... hehe... We had a mass funeral this morning for the brain cells killed yesterday.

That evening also went swimmingly. (Swimmingly... haha... I made a funny) The whole thing was scuba themed... because Leah is all into scuba diving. So... they had the big shindig at the Executive Inn, where they have an indoor pool. Scuba instructors came and did a demonstration and all the kids (if they wanted to) got to try breathing and swimming underwater. They strapped weights on 'em to make 'em sink and the did the whole buddy breathing thing.

The kids liked it. I sat on a chair and watched. I don't like bathing suits.

After about an hour I rounded up the kids, they dried off and changed clothes and we went to the "atrium" to eat. I don't know why it was called the "atrium"... I thought an atrium was supposed to have a bunch of skylights or something... but I'm probably confused. Anyway. We didn't eat. Because, who can eat when there are inflatables in the room with you?!? There was a jousting pit and two really big gladiatoresque obstacle courses. Yeah. And quess what my job was? Hang out with the kids!!?? *happy dance*

Hehe. It was fun. But I hurt. Because. Well. We had this bright idea to do one of those gladiatorish contests and all start the obstacle at once and just kinda throw each other around in an attempt to finish first. Well. I was nearly at the top of the stupid mountain thing when Travis jumped up, grabbed my ankles and slammed me WWF style down on the bottom of the thing. He asked if I was okay... after he made it to the top himself...

Yeah... I wasn't so good at the obstacle course... the jousting on the other hand...

The jousting I could do. I was the undefeated champion of the girls. Yup... and I'm old. They were all like 13 and hyper. I was proud.

Pride comes before a fall... or something like that. I fell. It hurt. In my defense, I was really really tired. It was shortly after Travis' wrestling meanness and the chick I was battling lost her helmet at the start so I was afraid to hit her head. So yeah. I lost. And whacked my knee on the way down. Ouch.

I hurt. I can only hope my dearest and nearest share my pain.

I don't have pictures (alas). I was having too much fun to run out to my car in the nearby parking garage and grab my camera.

Tales of Woe: The Dishwasher

2009-04-03T06:56:00.000-07:00

I've always had this inexplicable desire to blog... even though I obviously struggle with even the basics of grammar... hence... the strange dotty punctuation... or maybe I just talk in that spacey, dotty, never finish my sentence way... this will remain a great mystery... to me... if you figure it out, let me know, 'k?

So yeah... I've always wanted to blog... but never did... because, hey, I'm a busy gal and I don't have time to bore people with the minutiae of my life... ha! This excuse held up for quite awhile... until I realized just how much time I was spending reading other people's blogs... hmmm... and then when my dishwasher broke... I just knew... really knew... that I had to blog about it. Because... dishwashers breaking... this is the stuff life (and great blogs) are made of, right?

*crickets*

the Tale of Woe begins...

This is my dishwasher

And that orange thing on the floor... that would be a nerf dart... we um... shoot them at each other... so they are scattered randomly all over the house... anyway... back to the dishwasher...

On Monday afternoon I loaded *cough* erm... stuffed... my dishwasher efficiently as usual, closed the door, pushed the buttons... and walked away content in the knowledge that it would work it's magic and 96 minutes later I would come back to a miraculously clean bunch of dishes... as usual...

I came back, roughly 96 minutes later, and my dishwasher had not done it's job. It was instead flashing CL. Yup. It's cycle had been interrupted and it was annoyed. No matter, I'll just push cancel and all will be well...

All was not well. It continued to flash CL (I tried to get a picture of this... but my camera is slower that molasses) despite numerous attempts to cancel and restart the cycle. I briefly considered firing the dishwasher, but decided that would be a bit hasty and besides, Dad would be home soon... he can fix anything... seriously...

I returned home later that evening to prepare dinner. For those of you reading this who may be thinking I'm a pathetic pansy for freaking out about my dishwasher, let me assure you... I am, in fact, a pathetic pansy... but... I'm a pathetic pansy who prepares meals for and cleans up after upwards of 6 people. (Yes it does vary... we call it the Grand Central Station Phenomenon) This particular Monday I was preparing yummies for 12 people... that's a lot of dishes... on top of the everyday dishes we generate... plus I had cleaned out the milk cooler and we had yucky milk containers laying all over... (we have a cow) So yeah... though I'm a pansy... I think I had a right to be hysterical about the state of my dishwasher.

Meanwhile, various people had been trying to fix the stupid thing all day. Angie said something about Dad fixing it last time by flipping the breaker in the basement to reset it... well... we flipped the breaker... it didn't work. Thanks anyway, Angie!

So Dad comes home... at 9... pm... it took a whole lot longer to haul hay than expected... and he brought one more person home for dinner... which is cool... what's one more person beholding the mess of my kitchen... hey... while I'm at it... let's just show the whole world! *slightly hysterical laughter*

This is my messy kitchen... please note
that this does not include the dishes in
the dishwasher...

So after they get all the hay unloaded and in the barn and all... I asked pretty please for Dad to look at my dishwasher. By this time I had found the file, confirmed it was no longer under warranty and read the manual ten times. Oh and I flipped the breaker a gazillion more times for good measure... is that bad? Dad looks at the dishwasher... pronounces it broken... and says he's going to bed.

Tuesday morning dawns. The dish pile is touching the ceiling. I cross my fingers and push buttons. Nope. Still broke. I start doing dishes and Dad pulls the front of the dishwasher off. Kenneth notices what looks like a troubleshooting guide buried in the door innards... I flip out. If only there had been a troubleshooting guide in the manual I wouldn't be in this predicament! All my pent up hostility, frustration, and feelings of helplessness vented toward the poor guy that stuffed the life saving guide inside the door...

It wasn't a troubleshooting guide.

Dad determines... with the help of a gadget... that one of the switches in the control board thingie isn't working. So he sets off to the parts store. Mom, Micah, Brishaun and I set off for ballet, Kenneth sets off for work, and Travis sets off for ... the garage? To build a mushroom? I do not make these things up. I'm not that imaginative.

After ballet, on the way to um... *whispers* McDonalds Hey! Don't look at me like that! I was stressed! I deserved it! My DISHWASHER WAS BROKEN! Anyway... on the way to um... that place... we get a call from Dad...

Dad had gone to the parts store... apparently you can't just buy the switch... which should be about 5 dollars... you have to buy the whole stinkin' thing which is like 75 dollars. Which is really really not cool. So anyway. They didn't have this part. So they ordered it for him. Yup... it was going to be quite some time before I would be able to use my dishwasher again.

So Dad gets home... and as he was taking apart the thingie... I don't know why he was taking it apart... maybe to see if he could MacGuyver it somehow... but anyway... guess what he found?

Go ahead. Guess. If you get it right I'll give you a cookie.

Give up?

An ant. He found an ant.

He found an ant sandwiched between two contacts... apparently this ant had a death wish and decided to take out my dishwasher along with it. The good news is... the ant's evil dishwasher assissination plan did not suceed. After his carcass was removed and the dishwasher put back together, the contacts we able to make contact and my dishwasher began working it's magic once more. Oh and we canceled the part order.

The bad news is... well... there isn't really any bad news. The ant died. But I'm not too tore up about it. I hate ants. *shivers* Although there would have been bad news if we'd called the repair man... that would have been like a 200 dollar ant... yup... that ant had high aspirations, I'm tellin' you.

At any rate... here is my dishwasher... happily, contentedly, and um... merrily doing it's job...

My happy, well adjusted dishwasher
It's my new best friend.

Peace and Chicken Grease,
Spoodles