Sunday, April 26, 2009

Faith Like Potatoes

I laughed. I cried. It moved me Bob.

Awesome awesome movie. It is now one of my all time favorites... it's just that good. Oh my word.

Okay, so I'm not going to tell ya all about it... cause I don't wanna spoil it for ya... but... the wife... her name was Jill... (although I thought it was Jule the entire time... until the credits... because of the accents... and I could go on and on about the accents... but I won't... aren't you relieved?)

Anyway, Jill. I want to be Jill. She was beautiful. Seriously amazingly beautiful. I cannot describe how beautiful she was. Not just physically. Although the actress was physically beautiful, her character and the peace she exhibited made her so amazing. The stuff they went through... I would be screaming at God and throwing a fit... and she just makes the best of it.

I want to be like that. I don't even have a hard life and all I do is complain. Pathetic, eh? If anyone reads this, pray for me to be like Jill and have Faith Like Potatoes. Then go watch that movie so you'll know what the heck I'm talkin' about!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Meet Kenneth... he married me...

...two years and 6 months ago... and he hasn't run away screaming! Well... maybe he's run away screaming... but he comes right back!

Isn't he cute? Isn't he just the cutest thing? *yoyo and hoops smiley*



Day one of our honeymoon... mmm...



I love this picture... I love his hair... I love that look on his face... I love those amazing green eyes... this picture makes me want to run in there and pounce on him... actually... I think I will... it's 5:00 he shoulda been up half an hour ago! hehe... <~~~ mischievous laughter Okay I'm back... I have ants on my desk... I hate ants...

Pounds Hallow in Shawnee, our first wedding anniversary... we went with my family and Angie and the Twins and Chip... you'll have to meet all them some other time... I'm focusing on this really really adorable guy here... hehe... I told him to pose... this is his "I'm cute and I know it so I'm trying not to laugh" smile... This is the smile he gets when he's doing something silly...

The ant carcasses are piling up...



Kenneth and Fayth "cheesin'" ... I love this picture! Kenneth was Fayth's buddy... and the first male person she warmed up to... she loved to say his name... over and over and over... I'm going to go cry now...

My 'puter is messin' up and keeps wanting to publish this before it's ready! Impatient thing...



Dreads... I miss them... it took a looooong time to do them though... but that's okay... it was fun!

The ants have figured out that I am an ant serial killer... they have decided to vacate the area... smart little bugs...



He's really really good at grilling... really good... like ... amazing... mmm...



This is taken in Brown County during our second wedding anniversary... Kenneth is pretending to eat a random nut type thing he found on the ground... he does this a lot...

He also pretends to lick cats...



I love my crazy man.

If you're vegetarian or squeamish I suggest you do not look at this next picture of my "mountain man"...

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Okay... I warned you..



The first chicken he killed...



We found my hair extensions wadded up in the closet... hehe

Okay... so now I have to brag on my man...

Kenneth is amazing. I love being married to him. People would say "Oh you're newlyweds, just wait, it all goes down from here..." and you know what? The lied. Yup. I can't say I'm sorry the lied... I'm actually really relieved... because it hasn't gone down... it's gone up! I feel more and more in love with him everyday. When I think it can't get any better... it does... it's... indescribable. It's a picture of God's love for us... it's awesome and real... and I really really like it.

Kenneth is such an awesome spiritual leader. God has used him so much in my life, to spur on my own growth... it's just cool. I really can't put into words how grateful I am for my husband. He is such a man of God. Really, I feel he's a man after God's own heart. He seeks the Lord. Really seeks. I'm getting all teary eyed just writing about it! He is such an encouragement to me. I go through so many ups and downs... I seriously believe that I'm bi-polar... but I think God is getting me through it and he really uses Kenneth. Kenneth is so gentle with me when I'm down but he doesn't let me stay there... does that make sense? I don't know... he's just too cool for words...


And he lets me rub balloons on his head...



I love him.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Is God telling me I need to get back on my diet and be healthy?

Okay... so we all know about Bessie, right? Well, if you don't... that's okay... you're better off not knowing... really... So yeah... in addition to Bessie... last Saturday... around 5 pm my eyes started burning and being irritable so I took out my contacts... the burning did not stop... I dealt with it until 10 or so when Sara (my soon to be sister-in-law) gave me some theratears or something like that... so I stuck a million of those things in my eye... my left eye... the right one had been peachy since the initial burning... they didn't work. Oh well... we ate and went to bed....

The next morning... Easter Sunday... the day we were supposed to go to my husband's grandmother's house... I wake up and my eye is so swollen I can barely open it... it HURTS! I get it open, take a shower, desperately put those fake tears in it... all to no avail... Kenneth (my amazing and entirely too... um... cute... husband) went out looking for something that would make it better... he came back with some sort of drops... I put the drops in my eye... the he said we had to go...

But see, I couldn't go... I was wearing my glasses... yeah... and I didn't have even eyeliner on!? It hurt too bad... and I'd look awfully silly with one eye pretty and one eye a puffed up monster... so yeah... he made me go... I wanted to cry... well, I was already tearing up from the irritation... but I wanted to cry from the horror of it... these poor people had never seen me like this! What would they think?! I should've taken a picture... it was grotesque...

So we went... and I just kinda sat on the steps and watched everyone play washers... and the little people kept giving me candy because they felt sorry for me because my eyes were watering... and everyone was really nice and didn't say out loud that I looked hideous... and I know I did because when I asked Kenneth about it he said... "It's okay... you can't help it..." yeah... I really do love my husband... hehe So we finally left... normally I enjoy spending time with his grandparents... they're sooo sweet... but I had a headache and my eye was becoming increasingly swollen... by the time we got home, it was so swollen Mom called the eye doctor... and he agreed to see me at 8:45... I felt really bad... poor guy... but he's been my eye doctor since 1st grade so he understands... I hope...

So I go to the Dr. and he's like wow that's a lot of irritation... only he didn't say it like that because he's got this super calm quiet thing going on and nothing gets him too excited... except that really bad eye infection I had a while back... but that's another story... Basically, my eye was mysteriously annoyed and on the verge of, if not already, infected. So he prescribed 62.00 antibiotics... yeah... for a tiny little bottle of eyedrops... and set me up for an appointment on Tuesday.

Tuesday my eye has not healed sufficiently so he was going to prescribe 50.00 steriods but gave me a sample instead. Apparently the swelling around my eye, my eyelids and such was gone but my actual eye was still swollen. So I'm putting a million very expensive drops in my eye several times a day. I'm feeling very sorry for myself... I haven't worn my contacts or makeup in a week... it's a traumatic experience, let me assure you...

On top of the eye drama, since I've been putting these drops in my eye I have been extraordinarily dizzy and nauseated... maybe it's related... I don't know... but I want to be better again... I'm seriously thinking this is God's way of forcing me back on my healthy diet... I've been consuming an awful lot of HFCS (high fructose corn syrup)... bad Gwen...

Yup... I've been sick... and I'm sick of it... and the computer screen is making me woozy so I'm going to say goodbye...

Goodbye!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

We have a new addition to the family...

... her name is Bessie. At first, I was totally freaked out and embarrassed of Bessie, isn't that horrible? Bessie... she... um... lives in my bum... no, I don't have worms... I... um... have acquired a hemorrhoid. Yup. Why am I telling you this, you wonder horrified? Because I'm a sick person? Probably. Because no one reads this anyway? Maybe. More likely it's my way of coping. Kinda like the chicken slaughter... but I haven't shared that with you yet... something to look forward to.

If you'll excuse me, Bessie is protesting, she doesn't like to be sat on...

Peace and Chicken Grease,
Spoodles ><>

Monday, April 6, 2009

I shower during lightning storms...

... Yup... I'm just daring that way...

Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Bat Mitzva

I hurt. Everywhere. I hope Travis and Kenneth and that one chick whose name I've forgotten hurt too.

We attended a Bat Mitzvah for the girl I pretty much chauffeur. Her mom teaches ballet (she's my little sister's instructor) and teaches classes everyday until 8 or so, so I pick Leah up from school and either take her to our house to hang out with the chickens or to the humane society on Wednesdays to hang out with the doggies and kitties and bunnies. So anyway. This Bat Mitzvah. I was sort of the party coordinator. I helped with the preparations, made some of the decorations, showed up early and set stuff up and stayed after to clean up.

The morning ceremony went great. I had no idea what was going on because most of it was in Hebrew... so I just kinda hummed along and watched what every one else was doing. The luncheon afterward was pretty good. It got really fun at the end when Brishaun brought out the leftover helium tank.... hehe... We had a mass funeral this morning for the brain cells killed yesterday.

That evening also went swimmingly. (Swimmingly... haha... I made a funny) The whole thing was scuba themed... because Leah is all into scuba diving. So... they had the big shindig at the Executive Inn, where they have an indoor pool. Scuba instructors came and did a demonstration and all the kids (if they wanted to) got to try breathing and swimming underwater. They strapped weights on 'em to make 'em sink and the did the whole buddy breathing thing.

The kids liked it. I sat on a chair and watched. I don't like bathing suits.

After about an hour I rounded up the kids, they dried off and changed clothes and we went to the "atrium" to eat. I don't know why it was called the "atrium"... I thought an atrium was supposed to have a bunch of skylights or something... but I'm probably confused. Anyway. We didn't eat. Because, who can eat when there are inflatables in the room with you?!? There was a jousting pit and two really big gladiatoresque obstacle courses. Yeah. And quess what my job was? Hang out with the kids!!?? *happy dance*

Hehe. It was fun. But I hurt. Because. Well. We had this bright idea to do one of those gladiatorish contests and all start the obstacle at once and just kinda throw each other around in an attempt to finish first. Well. I was nearly at the top of the stupid mountain thing when Travis jumped up, grabbed my ankles and slammed me WWF style down on the bottom of the thing. He asked if I was okay... after he made it to the top himself...

Yeah... I wasn't so good at the obstacle course... the jousting on the other hand...

The jousting I could do. I was the undefeated champion of the girls. Yup... and I'm old. They were all like 13 and hyper. I was proud.

Pride comes before a fall... or something like that. I fell. It hurt. In my defense, I was really really tired. It was shortly after Travis' wrestling meanness and the chick I was battling lost her helmet at the start so I was afraid to hit her head. So yeah. I lost. And whacked my knee on the way down. Ouch.

I hurt. I can only hope my dearest and nearest share my pain.

I don't have pictures (alas). I was having too much fun to run out to my car in the nearby parking garage and grab my camera.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Tales of Woe: The Dishwasher

I've always had this inexplicable desire to blog... even though I obviously struggle with even the basics of grammar... hence... the strange dotty punctuation... or maybe I just talk in that spacey, dotty, never finish my sentence way... this will remain a great mystery... to me... if you figure it out, let me know, 'k?

So yeah... I've always wanted to blog... but never did... because, hey, I'm a busy gal and I don't have time to bore people with the minutiae of my life... ha! This excuse held up for quite awhile... until I realized just how much time I was spending reading other people's blogs... hmmm... and then when my dishwasher broke... I just knew... really knew... that I had to blog about it. Because... dishwashers breaking... this is the stuff life (and great blogs) are made of, right?

*crickets*

the Tale of Woe begins...





This is my dishwasher

And that orange thing on the floor... that would be a nerf dart... we um... shoot them at each other... so they are scattered randomly all over the house... anyway... back to the dishwasher...

On Monday afternoon I loaded *cough* erm... stuffed... my dishwasher efficiently as usual, closed the door, pushed the buttons... and walked away content in the knowledge that it would work it's magic and 96 minutes later I would come back to a miraculously clean bunch of dishes... as usual...

I came back, roughly 96 minutes later, and my dishwasher had not done it's job. It was instead flashing CL. Yup. It's cycle had been interrupted and it was annoyed. No matter, I'll just push cancel and all will be well...

All was not well. It continued to flash CL (I tried to get a picture of this... but my camera is slower that molasses) despite numerous attempts to cancel and restart the cycle. I briefly considered firing the dishwasher, but decided that would be a bit hasty and besides, Dad would be home soon... he can fix anything... seriously...

I returned home later that evening to prepare dinner. For those of you reading this who may be thinking I'm a pathetic pansy for freaking out about my dishwasher, let me assure you... I am, in fact, a pathetic pansy... but... I'm a pathetic pansy who prepares meals for and cleans up after upwards of 6 people. (Yes it does vary... we call it the Grand Central Station Phenomenon) This particular Monday I was preparing yummies for 12 people... that's a lot of dishes... on top of the everyday dishes we generate... plus I had cleaned out the milk cooler and we had yucky milk containers laying all over... (we have a cow) So yeah... though I'm a pansy... I think I had a right to be hysterical about the state of my dishwasher.

Meanwhile, various people had been trying to fix the stupid thing all day. Angie said something about Dad fixing it last time by flipping the breaker in the basement to reset it... well... we flipped the breaker... it didn't work. Thanks anyway, Angie!

So Dad comes home... at 9... pm... it took a whole lot longer to haul hay than expected... and he brought one more person home for dinner... which is cool... what's one more person beholding the mess of my kitchen... hey... while I'm at it... let's just show the whole world! *slightly hysterical laughter*




This is my messy kitchen... please note
that this does not include the dishes in
the dishwasher...

So after they get all the hay unloaded and in the barn and all... I asked pretty please for Dad to look at my dishwasher. By this time I had found the file, confirmed it was no longer under warranty and read the manual ten times. Oh and I flipped the breaker a gazillion more times for good measure... is that bad? Dad looks at the dishwasher... pronounces it broken... and says he's going to bed.

Tuesday morning dawns. The dish pile is touching the ceiling. I cross my fingers and push buttons. Nope. Still broke. I start doing dishes and Dad pulls the front of the dishwasher off. Kenneth notices what looks like a troubleshooting guide buried in the door innards... I flip out. If only there had been a troubleshooting guide in the manual I wouldn't be in this predicament! All my pent up hostility, frustration, and feelings of helplessness vented toward the poor guy that stuffed the life saving guide inside the door...

It wasn't a troubleshooting guide.

Dad determines... with the help of a gadget... that one of the switches in the control board thingie isn't working. So he sets off to the parts store. Mom, Micah, Brishaun and I set off for ballet, Kenneth sets off for work, and Travis sets off for ... the garage? To build a mushroom? I do not make these things up. I'm not that imaginative.

After ballet, on the way to um... *whispers* McDonalds Hey! Don't look at me like that! I was stressed! I deserved it! My DISHWASHER WAS BROKEN! Anyway... on the way to um... that place... we get a call from Dad...

Dad had gone to the parts store... apparently you can't just buy the switch... which should be about 5 dollars... you have to buy the whole stinkin' thing which is like 75 dollars. Which is really really not cool. So anyway. They didn't have this part. So they ordered it for him. Yup... it was going to be quite some time before I would be able to use my dishwasher again.

So Dad gets home... and as he was taking apart the thingie... I don't know why he was taking it apart... maybe to see if he could MacGuyver it somehow... but anyway... guess what he found?

Go ahead. Guess. If you get it right I'll give you a cookie.

Give up?

An ant. He found an ant.

He found an ant sandwiched between two contacts... apparently this ant had a death wish and decided to take out my dishwasher along with it. The good news is... the ant's evil dishwasher assissination plan did not suceed. After his carcass was removed and the dishwasher put back together, the contacts we able to make contact and my dishwasher began working it's magic once more. Oh and we canceled the part order.

The bad news is... well... there isn't really any bad news. The ant died. But I'm not too tore up about it. I hate ants. *shivers* Although there would have been bad news if we'd called the repair man... that would have been like a 200 dollar ant... yup... that ant had high aspirations, I'm tellin' you.

At any rate... here is my dishwasher... happily, contentedly, and um... merrily doing it's job...





My happy, well adjusted dishwasher
It's my new best friend.


Peace and Chicken Grease,
Spoodles